The Grass Is Always Greener

As some of you may know, yesterday officially marked the first day of summer and with summer comes all the fun that goes along with it. Barbeques, trips to the beach, lounging around the pool and laying out in the sun. But another thing that goes hand in hand with days of sunlight and warm weather is having to mow the grass. Grass on base seems to have one of two degrees of growth – either the sprinklers have been left off from winter and the grass is dead and brown or with the sprinklers turned on it quickly grows out of control. During summer, many find that cutting the grass must be done at least every other weekend or your military member face getting a nice little nasty gram from housing in their email.

When one moves into housing on base, they are told that upkeep on the lawns falls solely on the residents. Now, once privatization takes place (if and when it ever occurs, as we have been hearing about it now for three or four years now?) maintenance of the lawns and the landscaping will fall onto that company. Until that happens it's up to us to take care of it. Yet year after year, in every neighborhood, there are those individuals who for one reason or another, allow their yards to become overgrown. This can really become unsightly in the cases of the duplex homes on base – one side will be perfectly manicured while the other side would require a machete and a tour guide to wander through. It seems only Mesquite Meadows is immune to this situation as all their front lawns are xeroscaped.

Look Familiar?

First, the sprinklers. It takes a total of 2 minutes to walk into your garage and flip the control system back on. Yet, people don't want to do this because watering their grass will make it grow and result in them having to go out and cut it on a regular basis. They would rather dead grass than have to cut grass. Yet somehow the tall strands of weeds continue to grow resulting in stalks of weeds knee high on a field of dead brown. Come on people – turn your sprinklers on and cut your grass. It won't kill you.

I understand people are busy and on the weekends you would much rather be doing something a lot more fun that pushing a lawnmower around your yard in the hot desert sun or bending over a hula rake to deweed flowerbeds. But its not like our yards are very big to begin with. But more times than not, the excuse is they do not own a lawnmower. Part of this is housings fault – for the past three years they have told residents moving on base that privatization will be coming in the near future and so people do not want to spend 200 bucks on a lawnmower they would only use for a short period of time. The truth is that this base has been tooting about privatization before I ever got here and I have a feeling they will still be talking about it long after my family has moved on. The few items you need to keep your yard maintained will not cost you that much – a hula rake, a pair of lopers and a rake is all one needs to take care of the flowerbeds and bushes. If you don't want to buy a lawnmower, then for all things good, go out and rent one from outdoor rec every payday for 12 bucks a day. That's only 24 bucks a month plus maybe 5 bucks for the gas to go in it. And stop pestering your neighbors for these tools month after month, year after year. If you can't afford them all, buy one item each paycheck until you have what you need. It's not rocket science.

If SHE can do it, you can too!

Maybe you have a nice neighbor who is more than happy to loan you their lawnmower. Some people are helpful like that. But come on, use some sense about this type of situation people. If you do borrow someone's equipment, clean it off afterward. When you return it, return it in the same condition it was in at the time you borrowed it – if not better. Empty the clipping bag, rinse off the housing, ect. You might even be nice and fill it up with gas for your neighbor as a “Thank you” for letting you use it. And for God's sake, if you borrow it, Don't expect the gas to go along with it. With gas prices at nearly 4 bucks a gallon, its not fair for your neighbor to pay for what you use. Take your ass to the gas station and buy a gallon of gas, don't use what your neighbor has in the mower and then give it back to them bone dry. That makes you an asshole.

Normally I would say hey, what you do, its your business and not mine. This truly isn't the case when it comes to your lawns. When your grass gets to the point that a regular push lawnmower cannot be used, it does affect me. As your grass gets higher, I start seeing an influx of spiders and other nuisance bugs on my side. Tall grass makes for a nice habitat for these pest, along with snakes, mice, and scorpions. Also, when I see your high grass, it makes me wonder if the outside of your home, the part that everyone can see, is so ill maintained, how bad is the inside? If bugs from your side are coming to visit me, how many visitors are in your home?

Which leads me to my final complaint. We all know if our grass gets a half an inch too high, you can expect a nasty gram from Housing telling you to cut your grass, deweed your flower beds, ect. If you don't turn your sprinklers on and your grass dies, you'll get a nasty gram about that as well. However, who's sending nasty grams to Housing about the grass at the TLF? Now, don't get me wrong, I understand all about the cutbacks and the sequester, ect ect. But for many families new to Edwards, the TLF is the first introduction that they receive to living here on base. It sends the wrong message that Housing will bitch at residents for grass that is slightly (and I do mean slightly – not to be confused with you assholes who don't cut your grass for months) overgrown but will allow the grass at the TLF to get knee high. When you once again bring in the vermin that reside in high grass, it seems like it would be an extreme liability to me. All it would take is one Mojave Green rattlesnake hiding in the grass and one child who runs through the grass before cutbacks become a life threatening emergency.

Until next time...

PS. I little birdy told me that the women over at the CDC are huge fans of this blog so I wanted to give a quick shout out to them. Thanks for reading.