Do the bugs cost extra or are they free of charge?

It's been a bit since I've written here – that damn thing called life has a way of interfering and putting projects on hold.

Today I felt like addressing something that affects us all, something that at one point in time during our stay at this wonderful beloved base we have probably all bitched about.

The Commissary.

Our Commissary will never be featured on the Defense Commissary Agency's facebook's "Guess this Commissary" posts.

Now let me start off by saying that I am very grateful to have the commissary because without out would mean driving 45 miles to Walmart unless I wanted to pay out the ass at Albertson's in Rosamond. Since I can't afford a tub of Vaseline prior to the ass reaming that Albertson's prices cause and driving to Lancaster is less than desirable every time I realize I need Tampax or toilet paper, I'm glad that we have the convenience of the commissary on base.

With that said – shopping at the commissary is something that is a hit or miss.

The prices are great for the most part – especially when compared to Albertson's. The fact that we do not pay taxes when shopping at the commissary, even better. But beyond that, our commissary really lacks when compared to other commissaries on other bases.

I have a list of gripes that piss me off when it comes to our commissary. Maybe I shouldn't bitch and should be grateful that we even HAVE a commissary to begin with. However, some things that I have seen in my time here really makes me question some of the products, pricing and convenience that the commissary provides. My list is many but I will outline just a few.

Now, anyone who lives here at Edwards knows that this base is forgotten in time. While the family housing is newer, most of the other facilities are pretty old. Nothing can be done about this - with all the budget cuts I am sure that there is absolutely nothing in those government dollars to plan for a new commissary. Basically, we're stuck with what we've got and what we've got was probably built somewhere during the cold war. (Okay, probably not that long ago, but you know what I mean). 

Built around the same time as our commissary?

 Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting floors that I can eat off of. However it becomes a problem when you walk into the building and its 90 degrees and humid as fuck in there. The swamp coolers, it seems, have also been affected by the furlough and are being forced not to work. It's not that I don't mind a little bit of sweat but the issue comes when food begins to spoil. 

 True story – the other day I went into the commissary to pick up some groceries and I came upon this packaged piece of salmon. Now, I love seafood and try to eat fish whenever possible. However, with our lack of selections (more about that in a minute), my disdain for Tilapia and my refusal to eat whatever the hell a “Milkfish” is, it's usually not something I purchase here. I pick up this package of “fresh” salmon and show my husband and then the smell hits us. If you've never smelled a piece of rotten fish before, its something you don't want to experience. There's two stages of fish stink - the first is that “fishy” smell, the second reeks of ammonia. This fish reeked of both. The label was not expired and I am willing to put money on the fact the fish was not like that when the meat department put it out. The issue was the fact that it was way too warm in the facility and the fish was placed in a cooling area that was not closed off, thus the fish was not kept cool enough and had spoiled. Unfortunate, all meat in our commissary is displayed the same way. 

Yup, it stinks that bad

 A second bitch I have comes in the form of produce. I'm very cautious when buying produce here and I have learned there are things you buy and things you do not buy here. Our commissary does a wonderful job of providing really fresh produce bought from local growers, albeit the selection could be better. However, smaller prepackaged produce such as raspberries – forget it, I won't buy them here. I bought a carton of berries one day to mix in pancakes and had to throw the entire batch out the following day because they were completely infested with hundreds of small bugs. I don't care how much you wash raspberries – you are not going to get all of those bugs out of them and while we enjoy our protein, I'd rather get it in the form of something without 6 legs. I've heard similar stories involving other produce such as Brussels spouts being infested with bugs as well so I know my unfortunate experience was not a one time only deal. 

My third bitch – selection or lack thereof. Do you ever pick up the military use only coupons that are at the commissary or do you use the commissary card that they threw at us constantly months ago where they talked about huge savings. These coupons are practically useless because half the time none of the things those coupons are for are in our commissary. Here's something to think about. Going back to the seafood selection – who the hell eats milkfish? Does anyone reading this actually buy milkfish? Nobody I know does. When the “Seafood Roadshow” shows up and I don't get there on the first day, they are almost always sold out of whatever form of catfish they have whether it be filets or nuggets. They also sell out of salmon and tuna. Why does the commissary not carry catfish? Why does it not sell fresh tuna steaks? Why the hell do they sell three different brands of milkfish and not fish that people are actually familiar with? This is particularly upsetting when you have the HAWC and the Clinic telling people how seafood is a very important part of a diet, rich in Omega-3 fatty acids for heart health yet our fresh seafood is limited to one shelf offering spoiled fish and a few frozen fish nobody is familiar with. While the selection issue involves much more than just seafood, its a prime example of where our commissary severely lacks. When there are more flavors and brands of ramen noodles taking up an entire aisle, more choices in what to feed our pets and more choices in cigarettes but very few choices by way of healthy proteins (not counting the bugs on the produce), especially in a community that preaches a healthy lifestyle, then maybe whomever orders for stocking needs to rethink what they are ordering. 

Finally, the prices. Granted, prices are better than the nearest supermarket which is Albertson's. But the trend seems to be that prices increase significantly right before payday, only to drop off again a few days later. There are items that I have learned to buy in the middle of the pay period so that I can pay the lower price. Pet food is one of these items – two days before payday the prices increase by almost a dollar, only to drop back to normal a week later. Another thing that I notice is that if a coupon is offered for savings on an item, that price will increase on that item. I noticed this the other day when the commissary had a stack of coupons for my usual coffee creamer zip tied right in front of the bottle of my liquid gold. Normally, the creamer that I purchase is $2.69 a bottle. The coupon displayed was for 40cents off but the price was increased to $2.99. Sure, I still saved 10 cents off what I normally pay but I still felt like we as a community were being screwed. Saving 40, 50, 60 cents on several items adds up quickly and helps keep money in our pockets and instead of allowing the military community to save that money, they instead increase the prices to circumvent the savings that might have been earned. I'm sure once the date of expiration on the coupons has passed, my creamer will once again be $2.69.

I try to keep an open mind when it comes to the commissary. The employees who work there have always been very nice and professional. And I know its an older, smaller building compared to the newer facilities on other bases. I understand that this limits the space in which they have to stock shelves. I do think it would be nice to see a lot more healthy items available in the forms of more produce, fresh baked goods made with whole grains rather than enriched flour, fresh (and unspoiled) selections of seafoods, and leaner cuts of meats such as maybe ground chicken breast in addition to the ground turkey. I'd love to see the swamp coolers replaced with an actual refrigerated A/C unit as swamp coolers are basically worthless when we have 100+ degree weather, causing food spoilage that we end up bringing home to our families. I'd like to see the prices stop fluctuating and leaving me feeling like I'm taking it up the ass just because its payday. 

If its around payday, you might need this

Most of all, I'd like for once to pull out of the commissary with a feeling of knowing that I was able to shop with our hard earned money to buy the best possible food choices I could have made because I was given more healthy choices rather than bypassing three quarters of the aisles containing nothing but junk.

Thank You For Your Service - But You Shouldn't Be Allowed to See Santa

Today's topic is one that recently came to my attention by a submission and as I corresponded with that person as well as a few other people, it literally got my blood boiling.

There are topics I write on here that while I may be slightly irritated with the situation (numerous requests for Wrap It parties for example), not a whole lot actually truly upsets me. I'm one of those who kind of just goes with the flow and fight my battles wisely. If it doesn't immediately affect my life to the point that my happiness is hindered, then I'm not all that worried about it. Example, on Wednesday I went to the commissary and got some groceries. I waited in line for almost 15 minutes because everyone else was buying their groceries as well since the following day was the holiday and the commissary would be closed. Finally, it was just about my turn. Just as the customer in line was paying for his stuff, a woman with a toddler pulls her cart up to the checkout and starts unloading. Nevermind the line that was waiting and had been waiting. When told there was a line she said “I have a baby” and continued to unload her stuff. Part of me wanted to say “Well, that may be the case but I have a rack of ribs and a half gallon of buttermilk that has been waiting for 15 minutes” but I didn't. My life did not end because this woman skipped the line – sure it was irritating but it wasn't life altering. The extra minute wait for another line to finish just didn't alter the cohesiveness of the universe and so life goes on. I could have gotten quite OSMW on this woman but what would it have accomplished? This is what I mean when I say I pick my battles carefully.

However, there are times when grave injustices are brought to my attention – sometimes through observation and sometimes from word of mouth from others. Today's topic is one of these cases. Much of this blog is random venting of mine that is mostly just to entertain. If you learn from it, then I'm happy but I do understand that many people are reading it just to see who or what I go off on in my writing. Most of the time, I'm not really all that upset about the topic, just slightly irritated and want to blow of steam. This time, I hope that many of you take notice and actually learn, change and grow from what I'm about to write.

So here we go.

It was brought to my attention that when it comes to the retired military community, there's a line drawn by the wives of active military members. Basically, there are a number of wives who believe their families are above the families of retired personnel solely based on the fact that their husbands are Active duty. I have been told stories about how spouses of active military have degraded wives of the retired, telling them they shouldn't be allowed to attend base functions because their husbands aren't active duty. I've been told how some of you snotty bitches have refused to sell crap you have advertised at yardsale sites because their husbands were retired and not active duty.

First off – HOW DARE YOU! Some of you bitches really need to pull your head out of your asses and have a serious reality check. What in your puny little brains has given you the impression that you are above these people? What on God's green earth has giving you the impression that because your spouse is currently serving (and has maybe been in for only 5 years or less) you have more entitlement than someone who's spouse has served 20+ years. Twenty years that covered the expanse of Operation Desert Storm, Operation Iraqi Freedom, and the Iraq war. Twenty years that saw the 9/11 disaster (which many of you wives are too young to actually remember when it happened but instead learned of it in text books and 9/11 anniversary specials on TV each year) and the start of the war in Afghanistan as a result of 9/1l. You whine and bitch about your husbands doing a one year deployment in Korea where you get to Skype with your husbands every night while these women endured 18 month deployments where their husbands were lucky to get to call them for 10 minutes once a month and you feel you are entitled to treat these families like shit because your husband currently serves while theirs is retired?

Sad thing is, that's only covering the most recent twenty years. The Vietnam war ended less than 40 years ago and many of those veterans are the very same retired men and women who take advantage of their retirement benefits today. These are men (and some women) who were exposed to horrors that today's generation cannot even begin to imagine and to this day are still dealing with health repercussions from exposures to things like Agent Orange. Marines who were stationed on Camp Lejune from 1957 to 1987 are having health issues after being exposed to water contaminated with chemicals known to cause cancer. These veterans not only sat there and watched their brothers in arms die horrible deaths but then came back only to have the children they fathered after being exposed to Agent Orange be born with birth defects or die of various types of cancer. The Marines of Camp Lejune have had to watch their spouses die of cancer from drinking contaminated water and watch their children die the same deaths years later because they used that contaminated water in their baby's bottles. They have had to suffer knowing that their daughters miscarry baby after baby years later, knowing that their service has brought such heartache to their loved ones. Yet, you begrudge them a simple thing like attending a Christmas party on base? Sorry bitches but those wives ID card has a lot more meaning that yours does.

These men and women served proudly for two decades only to retire with only half the pay they were earning and to have to pay out the wazzoo for their health care benefits (or get sub par medical treatment at a VA facility). Many have to obtain jobs in the civilian workforce to make ends meet, many times working until they retire from that job and then collect two pensions. They endured their service before the invention of Skype and broadband internet, sometimes only communicating by written letters through the mail or the occasional email at a dial up tent in the middle of the desert once internet technology was available. Their wives checked the mail religiously for a letter to let them know that at least two weeks to two months prior, their husbands were okay. They waited by the home phone, since 20 years ago cell phone technology was pretty sparse and before that it was completely non existent, for that 5 to 10 minute phone call that was barely audible over the static and praying that the call didn't drop (as they so often did). You bitches sit there and complain about how bad you have it – you've got it easy compared to the spouses that were before you. Yet you want to degrade them, treat them like shit, and basically shit on their husband's service record. Bitch please! There comes a time where you just need to sit your happy asses down and just shut the fuck up and this is indeed one of those times.

I ask you this – those of you who think retired families are beneath you – how long has your spouse been in the service? Unless you're husband has been in for 17 years or more and is getting ready to put in his own retirement papers, you are not shit compared to these families. Their husbands put their time in, endured the blood, sweat and tears of 20 years of putting up with the Government's crap. Those wives stood beside their husbands through thick and thin when 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Think about that – 20 years later and she's still there. However, since the military has a higher divorce rate than that of US Civilians, it means that more than likely in 20 years you'll probably be on your 3^rd or 4^th marriage (since 75% of all second and third marriages end in divorce).

You never know when you might need this info

Lets put the shoe on the other foot. First, how would you feel if the community of retired military members who fought in the numerous wars over the course of the last oooh, 60 plus years, looked down upon your family because your husbands didn't fight in wars but instead sat in an air conditioned room with his feet firmly planted on safe US soil? What if they said your husband's service doesn't count because he has only served for 8 years? What if their opinion was that you didn't “earn” any benefits until your husband served a minimum of 17 years? You'd probably get your panties in a wad and throw an absolute shit fit. I mean, hell, many of you believe that you yourself are in the military just because your husband is so therefore you would take this as a personal insult towards you and your husband.

However, you feel it's perfectly acceptable to turn the tides and pull this shit on the retired community? Would you treat your parents with the same disrespect you show these people? (Actually, knowing some of you, you probably do.) Would you disrespect your husband's First Shirt in this manner when you are face to face with him? What about the Generals on this base? More than likely, you would show them a great amount of respect because of who they are and what their rank is. However, many of these MSgt's, SMSgt's, Col's, and Gen's are about to retire. Does signing those papers to collect a pension mean they lose all the respect they were given while serving? Sorry to inform you darling but you're SSgt or Butterbar husband do not hold a candle to these men and women. Get over yourself. Pull your head out of your asses and give these people the respect they deserve. Believe me, hunny, they have EARNED the respect that you should be showing them and do not deserve the disdain that you show them on a regular basis.

You are not above the retired community. If you think you are then I am sorry to tell you but you are a self centered, egotistical bitch. If your husband has given you the impression that those currently serving are above those who have retired then I believe I am safe saying your husband is an asshole. However, I seriously doubt your husband has the same mentality as you do. Your husbands understand how good today's military has it compared to the troops of yesteryear. Most of them are thankful for the invention of the MRE and would never want to pry open a C-ration that the veterans of Vietnam did. They are grateful for the M16 as opposed to the M1 Garand or the M14. They appreciate the F-16, the F-22, the F-35 over the F-14 and the F-105. They are grateful for the satellite technology that our military currently have and the warning systems that protect this country from attacks like that on Pearl Harbor. But most of all, many are grateful for the fact they were able to volunteer to serve this country rather than being forced into service by the draft as many veterans who served in Vietnam were.

The Beef Enchilada MRE doesn't look so bad against this

Some of you bitches should brush up on your history – rather than buying another Coach purse, you should go out and buy a book. Hell, go to the library and borrow one if you can't forgo your weekly manicure or fat wrap. Either way, educate yourselves on what our veterans and retired community underwent before you sit there with your self righteous attitudes and treat these valuable members of our military community like dog shit on your Gucci shoes. You even take their holiday away from them year after year – Veterans day rolls around and you post pictures of your husbands in their uniform and thank them for their service to this country, post about how proud you are of them for being in the military yet it never dawns on you that Veterans day is about those who served in the past and not the present. It's about the men and women who came before your spouse, who put their lives on the line to serve this country and protect the rights you are so quick to invoke. If it wasn't for those men and women who served in the past, our military would not be what it is now. Think about that before you sit there and treat them like crap.

So next time you're sitting in a long line with your kids to see Santa Claus and that retired family is in front of you, think about that. Instead of bitching because the line would be shorter without them there, maybe you should thank them for what they endured. And by all means, unless your husband is going to be a career military and put his 20 years in, please do not act like you are high and mighty over these people – You're not. They decided to give 20 years to their country, sacrificed any possibility of anything that resembled a normal life and marriage. If your husband is only in it for the educational benefits and a paycheck until he's able to support your dependabison ass in the civilian world then you have absolutely no right to dismiss that sacrifice. And even if your husband is a career, get off your high horse and show some respect. Because one day, you might be in the same exact situation with some 19 year old bitch who can't even order an alcoholic beverage yet treating you like she's better than you.

Until Next Time...

Yappity Yap - Just Shut Your Trap

It's been a bit since I have written. I apologize for those going through withdrawals, it has been a very busy two weeks for me. But today I have a day to myself and I decided to use some of it to post.

For those who do not know already, there's now a facebook page for this blog. I wanted a way to be able to start open communication with my readers and allow you to give me input, suggestions and criticisms as you want. I know that many people have already joined which blows my mind considering I hadn't even advertised it before now. Word definitely gets around on this base, that's for sure. You can find the facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Welcome-To-Edwards-Leave-your-Brain-at-the-Gate/408170469298583?fref=ts .

Now on to the good stuff.

I've been debating several different topics of discussion for today's blog. I considered the topic of the Commissary and some of the thing craziness that occurs there, especially on payday. I debated the topic of the BX and how crappy their selection truly is. A couple of people suggested discussing the situation with the squirrels. Finally, I considered writing about bullying on base, especially after the little bit of drama that occurred even here on this blog in the comment section. A few people thought that the bullying topic would be a great idea. I agree.

I might be a bit naive in some of my thinking but generally when I think of the term spouse, I think of an adult individual who has married another adult individual. Maybe I'm wrong and there's a large percentage of 12 and 13 year old spouses running around base because I must say, when it comes to interactions between individuals, people act as if they are in the 6^th grade.

Nobody is ever going to get along with everyone, that’s just human nature. We're always going to say or do something that someone doesn't like. I know there are plenty of individuals who disagree with this blog, I've even gotten some pretty harsh emails in regards to exactly what people think of me and my opinion. Does this give us any right to treat people the way we sometimes do? People are so very quick to defend a helpless animal that they feel is being mistreated but will turn around and treat another human in ways that make me cringe.

We judge people for any little thing – a woman you have never met but who works in your husband's shop is obviously a slut who has slept with the entire flight just because she's female; another spouse is automatically a whore if you believe she's prettier or skinnier than you; or she's obviously a tag chaser who trapped a man by getting pregnant if she's overweight.

Women automatically jump to conclusions regarding people based solely on physical image rather than that persons merits. We refuse to make friendly with people who don't fit what we feel is ideal – to some the overweight spouse is automatically ostracized because she's obviously sloppy or lazy while on the other hand others ostracize the super skinny spouse because she must be anorexic, a drug addict or is out to sleep with your husband. We judge based on what rank the spouse's military member is – if their husband is too high ranking, they are obviously a snotty bitch who thinks their shit doesn't stink or if their husband's rank is too low then they are beneath us associating with because we have “earned” the right to be friends with only wives who's husband's rank is equivalent to our own spouses. We judge if a wife works outside the home, we judge if she is a stay at home mom. We judge if she bottle feeds her infant and we judge if she breast feeds. If a woman gets pregnant, we begin speculating if its really her husbands child without any proof that she was cheating in the first place.

One can't even have an opinion these days without being labeled or criticized. We already discussed what happens if you don't like “50 Shades of Grey” for example. But do you think George Zimmerman is innocent of the murder of Travon Martin? You must be a racist against blacks. Think he's guilty? You must be racist against Hispanics. Think Paula Deen got screwed? Again, you must be a racist or your a backwoods redneck southerner without the brains to know any better. Think she's getting what she deserved? You don't understand freedom of speech and give to much power to the word, making you part of the problem. Don't believe in same sex marriages? You're either a bible thumper or a homophob, or both. Support the gay rights movement? You must be a fag, a lesbian or bisexual making you a freak. Like the President? You must have drank the Kool-aide and you're the reason this country sucks right now. Don't like the President? Well, yeah, you guessed it, you're a racist. No matter what your opinion, someone is going to have the audacity to tell you how wrong you are and criticize your opinion. It's gotten to the point where one cannot think for themselves much less express their opinion about something – maybe we should just elect the know it all bitches so they can tell us what to think or feel. Maybe they can even tell me when I feel like taking a crap? (But then they would probably criticize my diet because my turds weren't solid enough, or too solid, or who effing knows).

Even what we eat gets criticized. If an overweight woman is seen eating a hambuger at Burger King, instantly that's the reason she's so fat. If you're skinny and eating a salad at the same establishment, you've got an eating disorder. Own a coach purse? Obviously you just spent all of your husbands paycheck on it and forgot to pay the bills. Nobody can win, no matter what one does, there's always some bitch who has absolutely too much time on their hands, is in everyone's business and who's got to run their mouth.

It seems like the only thing to do on this base is to either sell crap or judge people – those seem to be the top two pastimes here in the desert. Now we all judge, it's human nature. We all develop preconceived notions about things we see or hear. The problem is that most of the time, you fail to keep these opinions to yourselves and feel that your opinion is important enough to spout off on facebook groups, to your friends and to anyone who will listen. You slander people without any reason beyond that you dislike that individual for whatever reason and you feel everyone else should dislike that person as well. As if YOUR opinion is the end all and if you feel that way about someone, everyone else should as well because obviously your opinion is the only correct one to have. You, my friend, are an absolute bitch.

I cannot tell you the number of times someone has told me something vicious and negative regarding people on this base. I've heard rumors about many of the people who read this blog and have sat there as I listened to individuals rip someone for absolutely no reason. I've had things repeated to me by friends that “others” have said about not only myself but people who I know well enough to know that these rumors are absolutely false. It always amazes me to hear people talk crap about someone they have never even met in the first damn place. I mean, come on, if you're going to judge someone at least have the decency to judge that person from your own experiences with them. Don't be a damn sheep and let those opinions of someone else that were repeated to you influence how you treat someone. 

I've seen people gang up on individuals on facebook groups because people didn't agree with them or didn't like the way their posts came off. I always find this pretty funny to observe – to judge someone based on words typed out on a screen. It's so easy to misinterpret what someone says in text – a person might not have the right words to really get across what they mean or you cannot hear the manner in which they wrote it. And I've seen time and time again where if people are discussing an individual without mentioning names, everyone wants to know who's being discussed so they can join in on the fun.

Hell, Jane Doe has been a topic of judgment for many. Truth is, I have yet had a single person come out and ask me if I was Jane Doe which tells me I'm flying under the radar pretty well. Yet in conversation, I have had people I know say they have been accused of being Jane Doe. People are racking their tiny little brains (which if you remember have been left at the gate in the first place) to figure out who I am and have pointed fingers and gotten pretty ugly about individuals when they think they have figured it out. Nothing points this out better when a reader of this blog was called out in a very ugly way in the comments of this very blog. While I do not know the entire story behind that particular attack, what was relayed to me was that a group of individuals who had nothing to do with this base decided to take it upon themselves to call out the reader as being me and bombarded this blog with several long, debasing comments about the person. While the attack was vicious, I do believe it points out something very telling about people who bully others – their mentality is pretty childish. Need proof? Two words - “Eat Dick”. (Those who were reading that exchange will know what that's about.)

Bullies seem to be stuck in a mentality of perpetual high school. Actually, I take that back, I know high school kids who act more mature so let's say middle school instead. There's always that bully in middle school, the boy who shoves the geeky kids head in the locker or the girl who rips on the other girl who's outfit came from a discount store. These kids never grow up, never mature and never learn how to respect others and then continue the cycle with their own children. Whether its because mommy and daddy spoiled them rotten and convinced them they are above all others or maybe because they are insecure about themselves and must destroy others to make themselves look better, I do not know. Beyond the one psychology class I was required to take for my degree, I didn't study why assholes act like assholes. Unfortunately, we give these people way too much attention. There's a reason why shows like Jersey Shore, Buckwild, Bridezillas, Housewives of whatever and the likes get high ratings on television. We enjoy watching self adsorbed people make complete asses out of themselves. We wait for these types of people to self destruct for our entertainment. The same holds true for the same type of drama on Facebook pages or out and about on base. When a post goes nuts and people go apeshit, people lurk just to see what will happen and then discuss it among each other in private.

Trust me, this base has no deficit in the self adsorbed types. You know who they are – the ones who post to add absolutely nothing of any substance to a conversation other than to see themselves post. An example of this would be when someone asks if anyone has done something in order to gain advice or insight and some ass posts “no”. They're the one who throw the “breast is best” argument out when someone asks about a specific brand of formula and then proceeds to tell them what a terrible parent they must be not to love their kids enough to pop a tit in their mouth. They're the ones who throw their husbands rank around as if it gives them any special bonus to negate your own opinion. They're the ones who are quick to tell you how wrong you are and why and how their reasoning is superior to your own. And they are the ones who message you in private when some sort of drama occurs that doesn't involve them but they feel the need to gossip about it anyway.

It's also the bitches who every time someone pisses them off, instantly uses the “I'll contact your husbands First Shirt”. This is something I will never understand. There is no other job out there where if a woman upsets or offends you, you run to their husbands place of employment to tattle on them. Let's put it like this. Let's say Suzie's husband Josh works at McDonald's (hey, everyone has to start somewhere). Suzi pisses Joanie off so Joanie loads up in her car, drives to McDonald's and tells Josh's manager that Suzie pissed her off. Can you see how absolutely ignorant and childish that scenario is? So why do wives think just because our husbands put on a uniform every day, it changes things?

Somewhere in the scheme of things, we've forgotten what respect is. The golden rule of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” has fallen to the wayside and instead has been replaced with “Bash that bitch first before the bitch is able to do it to you”. Wives are notorious for saying things like being a military wife “is the hardest job in the military” - while I won't agree with this statement I will say that you are the reason it's so hard. Rather than making friends with other spouses, you rip each other apart. Rather than making a large circle of friends throughout the entire base community, you pick and choose who's “worthy” of your friendship (most of the time based on who will be most likely to buy your shit) and alienate the rest. Then, when your close “friends” PCS out and your husband is off to Korea, you realize you have absolutely nobody. Day in and day out you're stuck in your house, maybe taking care of a kid or two, miserable and bitching because nobody wants anything to do with you.

As a military community, we should all pull together and support each other. After all, we're all in the same boat. We leave our lifelong friends and extended family behind to move cross country or across oceans because the military dictates where our home will be. We make friends at one place, only to either have them pick up and move or for our spouses to receive orders and have to do it all again. We laugh at movies from the 1950's where when a new family moves in, the rest of the neighborhood rings the doorbell, introduces themselves and gives a housewarming gift but maybe that's what we should be doing? Instead, we alienate people because we don't like the way they look when we see them moving in without giving anyone a chance. Maybe if we didn't do this, there wouldn't be so many posts on FB asking for some stranger to babysit on a Saturday night because you would have a whole community of friends willing to switch off sitting duties?

I personally would rather have several fat, skinny, ugly, pretty, geeky, moms with too many children, moms with not enough children or even no children, or disheveled haired friends whom I could associate and trust then only have one or two “perfect” friends. I'd rather be friends with the outcasts then those who never outgrew the bully phase of middle school. After all, its the geeks who had their heads shoved in the locker who grow up to become the CEO of Fortune 500 companies or the Neville Longbottoms of the world– the bullies usually end up even more mean and bitter because their lives never amounted to much of anything.

Until next time...