Tell Me No Lies and Keep Your Shit To Yourself

It has definitely been a while since I have written anything here. That's not to say I haven't been lurking all the boards to see whats going on, banking things away for future reference. The problem is always finding what exactly to write about in the first place – you can only write about the same craziness so many times.

But there always seems to be one thing that pops up over and over that I haven't written about yet so we just might have to tackle that topic.

Simply put – people putting their noses where they don't belong.

If Morgan Freeman says it - it must be true.

Maybe it's all bases – maybe it's just here but it sure seems like people don't seem to know the concept of minding their own business. It never fails, someone always feels they have to put their 2 cents in on a topic, telling everyone else how superior they are, how they never have to deal with an issue someone else might be dealing with solely because they know how to do it better and their way is the only way. These people can pipe in for just about every topic available – your kids, your dog, your marriage, even how you donate to charity.

You know the type – its almost impossible to avoid them. Maybe you're having an issue with your kid ripping off their diaper at night so you decided to gasp duct tape the diaper tabs so they can't take it off at night. Well, she's going to pipe in and tell you that its child abuse and how her perfect angel learned at an early age not to take off their diaper so you must be doing something wrong. You didn't breastfeed your kid? Be prepared for the whole “Breast is best” rant telling you how your a terrible mother who obviously shouldn't procreate because you are too selfish to do what's best for your child. They are the ones who break into the evils of fast foods if you admit you let your kids eat a McDonald's happy meal, throwing statistics of childhood obesity or about tooth decay when you slip and say that you allow your child to drink a can of coke.

It's the type who tells you their dog is a well behaved member of their family, who would never do any common doggy behaviors like running out of the yard and if yours does, you shouldn't own pets. They are they ones who berate you for feeding your pet whatever food is on discount at the commissary – if you really loved your pet, you would be cooking a 4 course meal of grass fed beef or organic chickens every day – if you can only afford a 30lb bag of Purina kibbles for 15 bucks, then you shouldn't own a dog. God help you if your pet somehow gets pregnant and don't even think of trying to find homes for those animals without being prepared for a speech about why you didn't do the responsible thing and have your pet fixed in the first place. (I've covered these types of posts regarding pets in a previous post - if you missed it here ya go: Like Bob Barker Says: Please Remember to Have Your Pets Spayed or Neutered - Or Else)

They are always the superwoman. They are the first to tell you to pull up your big girl panties during a deployment and suck it up. Sure, you miss your husband and your kids are driving you nuts, the alternator went out on your car and the washer machine just flooded your house. Tough shit buttercup. Because she had it so much harder than you and she made it though perfectly fine - the house was always spotless, the children were always fed only wholesome organic foods (and they always ate their beets and chickpeas) at exactly 6pm, the dishes were washed by 6:45 and she of course used all her spare time while her husband was away working to find a cure for cancer. She always had excessive amounts of money in the savings account and is quick to tell you how your bad budgeting is the reason you don't. If your husband cheats on you, she's the first to point out it's your fault for not working out 5 hours a day, every day like she does.

You can find these women in many places – coming up to you at walmart to bitch at you for not having socks on your baby when its 100 degrees outside or approaching you at the commissary as you start to grab a box of caprisun. Visit any “military spouse” facebook group and you'll see herds of these women, usually arguing back and forth with each other because none of them can agree with each other on any topic.

To be honest, if you are one of these people, the simple fact is nobody wants or needs your advice. It's not helpful, its not wanted and all it really does is piss people off. The truth is, you come off as a major cunt with a superiority complex. You're the ones who's dog need Prozac because they're neurotic from you treating them like a child instead of a dog. You're the one who eventually ends up in the headlines because your kids rebel against your strict upbringing, turning to drugs and sometimes violence in order to escape the hell you've put them through. And lets be honest here – many times your kids aren't the angels you tell everyone they are. More times than not, they are the ones who bully their peers, much the same as you bully other women because they learn the behavior from you.

I saw another form of this type of behavior today while viewing the Edwards AFB Yard Sale site. Now, if you're not a member of this facebook group, take my advice – JOIN!! You would think a group set up to sell your unwanted shit would be pretty cut and dry – but this group has more drama than any prime time tv show today. Today's drama actually occurred over the course of two different pages. While I am a member of the yard sale group, a person who follows another Edwards page brought a second post to my attention. Here's how it played out.

The yard sale group had a post regarding a charity event involving dropping toys in a box for collection. Now, I'm not going to insult the program, its a very good program and I wish people would support it – there are many needy families who even a small 5 dollar toy would help make their children's holidays that much brighter. However, the particular poster seems to suffer from a severe case of cranialrectal impactment of some sorts (for those who don't know what that means – it's basically having your head up your ass). The original post was asking for donations, explaining where the boxes for donations were located, ect ect. However, the second posting on a second group was a picture (posted below) with a statement saying she would like to do such to the people at Starbucks, the BX and the people on the yard sale site for NOT supporting her toy drive as she seems to feel is appropriate. 

Lady, here's a bit of a news flash. By your own admission, the number of toys needing to be donated is 10,000 toys. Assuming this is 1 toy for every needy child, that's 10,000 children who's parents are financially suffering this holiday season and asking for help. These numbers are only the numbers of parents willing to ask for help – it does not include parents who either did not know how to sign up for the program or who might be too embarrassed to ask for help. I think a fair assumption would be for those 10,000 who did ask for help, there are probably another 20,000 who did not just in our area alone. And this area is not that populated, so that's probably a large percentage of people in the area. Add to the fact a large majority of contract laborers who work for the government in one way or another who have recently been furloughed not once but twice as well as laid off from jobs who were hit hard financially this year. Many of the people you are complaining aren't donating toys are the very same people who should be receiving toys. They are already stressed out wondering how to afford Christmas for their own children, depressed because yet another holiday is upon them and their finances are even worse then they were the year before. They're the ones who are tired of hearing how they should have started saving money back at the first of the year in order to save for the holidays when they can barely rub two pennies together to begin with. They are the ones living paycheck to paycheck, who already dropped many luxuries like cell phones and cable in order to put the next meal on the table. They are the ones who's children's names are on the Angel tree at the BX in hopes that someone's kindness will help them provide even one wrapped present under a tree this year.

But to sit there and insult and bitch about the very people who you are trying to get to support your program? That in my opinion is the very epitome of arrogance and superiority. How does one think that will in any way help in getting people to donate? After reading the original post, I was considering buying several toys to donate – after reading the second post, the idea leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I think instead, I will purchase a few of the requested items on the angel tree as well as buy a few AAFES cards (or Commissary gift cards) to donate to the chapel on base. At least I know those donations would be highly appreciated. Seeing the way you insulted the people on this base when all they were asking was for you to tell them where to donate – I could see you collecting the toys and then bitching on your page in regards to those donations being cheap crap. Happy Holidays indeed.

There's an old adage that says you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. I think this saying is very true – if you want to change someone's mind regarding something, it's always better to be polite and respectful to others then to sit there and insult then, belittle them and treat them as if they are inferior to you. This goes for all aspects in life.

There's also another adage – if you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut. Again, true.

But, in addition to all this, maybe if people would butt out of everyone's business and worry more about themselves, shit would be so much better for everyone.

Not everyone who's friends with a man who's not their husband is sleeping around. Not everyone who doesn't parent the way you do is unfit. Everyone who does not cook 3 square meals a day for their dog or cat isn't a bad pet owner. And everyone who can't afford to spend an extra 10 bucks on a toy for a donation box doesn't deserves to be punched. Keep your unwanted advice to yourself and the world would be such a better place.

Because its worth repeating - and its Morgan Freeman.

Until next time.