Wrap it - Wrap it Good

Today I want to vent about home businesses. It's something that every time I get on FB I end up just seething about it. It absolutely bugs the hell out of me..

I'll be the first to admit that when it comes to job opportunities, this base is terrible. Unless you're literally a rocket scientist with a masters degree in jet propulsion, there's not a job market here for you. People want second incomes, especially if your spouse is just starting his military career and the paychecks are small. So, people join up with what is known as direct sales; you pay another company a start up price to receive a sales kit and then you hope that enough people will buy that product to earn you a paycheck. It's all base on commissions - if you sell you get paid, if not, you get absolutely nothing. I understand this looks mighty attractive to many wives who have nothing else to do than sit at home day in and day out at this dump but unfortunately, direct sales jobs on this base are destined to fail.

Let me explain. There are only a certain amount of these companies one can choose to sale from. Most of these companies charge about $100 for their start up kit which makes it attractive to people. Well, somewhere along the line the stereotype that all military wives are into direct sales started circulating.  And with good reason - suddenly almost everyone throughout the bases (not just here at Edwards) began paying that $99, got their start up kits and started selling. And I do mean everyone.  One must only look at any Edwards group page to know direct sales is prevalent here on base - on any given day you will see posts regarding Pampered Chef, Avon, Scentsy, ect.  Usually, there's at least one post a week stating someone has just joined a particular direct sales team and they are trying to fish for sales. I never understood why anyone would join a particular direct sales company without researching to find out how many other consultants are in a particular area. If you already have 10 consultants for Scentsy on base, for example, why do they feel there's enough people in a very limited population to support another?   And then, you up sale your business in order to get people to join under you - because that's how promotions work. The more sales and the more people you sucker into joining under you, the more money you make. But if the customer population is already over saturated with consultants for a specific company, having more people join just doesn't make sense.

But alas, these are not the issues that raise my blood pressure every am while sipping my coffee.

What gets me is the excessive amount of postings that occur. Since I am a member of a number of the Edwards groups, I see most of the new postings on my wall.  So, I'm going to say it now - Damn I am so freaking tired of seeing half dressed fat people on my feed. I'm sure you've all see the "It Works" consultants and their postings. And I guess I should be clear on this, I have absolutely nothing against any of the "It Works" consultants personally - I'm sure they are great people and they are just trying to make a living. It seems "It Works" is the new Scentsy - meaning that 2 years ago every damn post was "buy Scentsy" followed by a picture of a cute crock warmer of some sort. But unfortunately, "It Works" doesn't really allow for cutesy home decor pictures. Instead, day after day, I'm bombarded with pictures of fat rolls and ass cracks, love handles and stretch marks.  On any given day, its posted to one of two of the groups by a few different consultants along with on their personal wall which results in seeing the same picture roughly 5 to 6 times in a day. And I wonder why I'm not sleeping well at night - someone bleach my eyes.  But again, this isn't what raises my blood pressure.

Who needs diet and exercise? Buy my crap and you can look like this

Now, lets talk about dildos.  Now, again, not going to begrudge anyone their trusty BOB but we normally don't take pictures of them and put them on our facebook wall for the world to see.  I think if I took a photo and put it on FB, it would probably get flagged pretty quickly as inappropriate. Yet, for some reason, if its being sold by a consultant - its perfectly okay to plaster it all over FB.  I can't count the number of times I've had jelly colored vibes, buttplugs and other sexual paraphernalia pop up on my screen. I'm not offended by it, by all means, its just a piece of plastic but still, when did it become perfectly acceptable to post these types of things? I guess its better to say it like this - if a safe search on Google would block these type of pictures, then they're probably not appropriate on FB either.  But nope, this isn't what gets my goat either.

Now, here's the thing that pisses off day in and day out.  The Parties. Yes, your Wrap parties, Sex toy parties, Scentsy parties, Jamberry parties, Thirty One parties, ect ect.. Damn!!  People on this base do not know how to get together with other women without the need to sell shit to them. The message this sends out is "I'm only interested in your money, not your friendship".  We watch "Army Wives" and think we're all Claudia Joy inviting people over for tea and wine, but never once did I see Claudia Joy whip out a vibrating rabbit and say "Hey, Denise, check this thing out. Its only $89".

Good friends, good wine.. No sex toys or fat wraps involved.

It completely baffles me how many of these "invites"  I get weekly. Now, maybe I wouldn't mind so much if I were actually friends with some of these people - I do have a few friends who are consultants for various direct sales companies and I do try to help them out from time to time by buying something, even if I don't really want it because I wish to help them. But 9 times out of 10, the invites I get are not from these friends but from people I don't talk to because I don't know them. The next time they have a "party", same deal.  On average I get about 5 invites a week from different "consultants" who want my money but have never shown one iota of interest in having a friendship with me first. My bank account seems to me of more interest to them than I am. This is NOT the way to get sales ladies - if you have never even said "hi" to a person before in your life, it is not in good taste to suddenly invite them over to your house, expect them to get half naked in your living room and show off all their fat rolls just in the hopes they will order some overpriced concoction to will "Guarantee" to make them skinny.  If you have never looked them in the eye in person, how do you expect them to come to your house and discuss dildos and sex lubes and feel comfortable enough to order them?  But when you go to the FB invite page to decline the invitation, you'll see that not only you but 70 others have been invited - all to come over and discuss/buy sex toys when most of us are too embarrassed to walk into a 24 hour video store off the highway.   Of course, if I were to go to one of the multiple Wrap parties I get invited to, I might then not feel so guilty attending the Dove Chocolate party that I get invited to the next day.

And we wonder why making friends on a military base is so hard at times. I guess the bigger our pocket book, the more friends you will have.

Until next time...