Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

There really hasn't been any drama on the FB pages as of lately, I guess everyone is afraid it will end up on this blog (be afraid, be very afraid) and so things have been pretty quiet. I could write about how crappy the BX selection is but I guess that can wait for another time. (Btw, if you have any suggestions for something I should write about please email me at welcometoedwards@gmail.com) Instead, I have a topic that will have most women having to run for a change of underwear just thinking about.

Fifty Shades of Grey. 

Oh yes, the book that has been on the Washington Post's best seller list for over 50 weeks, has led to a lot of the newborns who have came home from the WIC in the last year and is the only series to outsell the Harry Potter Series. Between the three books more than 70 million copies have been sold, many to military spouses (many of whom I am surprised could even read) and has been recommended by friends so many times you'd think they make money off of spreading the word. I can't begin to count how many times a fellow milspouse has instagramed a photo of a glass of wine and the cover of one of these books. To say that many of you are obsessed with this literary fad would be an understatement. Many women who probably haven't picked up a book since graduating high school (and maybe not even then)  flocked to the bookstore in droves to pick up all three of these books at one time and read them almost straight through.

It came to my attention that one particular woman on this base has basically been ostracized by many other spouses because she voiced her opinion of the books at a group. Her opinion was not popular and others disagreed with it to the point that she became public enemy number one to everyone there. Her option was basically this – that the 50 Shade of Grey is basically pornography. Now, I wasn't there for the conversation and part of me wishes that I had been because I probably would have been ostracized right along with this individual.

I guess right now would be a great time to insert the official definition of pornography for those of you who are unaware of it. As defined by Merriam-Webster, pornography is as follows: 1: the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement and 2: material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement. I think most people have the mindset that pornography is limited to explicit videos or photographs and the immediate image of their husband in a dark room lit only by a computer monitor, volume turned down, praying nobody wakes up. Most fail to realize that pornography does not have to be visual – it can be written. (Hence why publications like Penthouse Letters are so popular). By the above definition, 50 Shade of Grey is indeed pornographic in nature – but many who read it do not want to admit it.

There have been numerous occasions when I have been told by someone that they would never allow pornography in their homes. That they are a good Christian family with Christian values and that allowing their husbands to view pornographic images is a sin in their eyes. Many have stated that if they were to catch their husbands viewing pornography online that it would be viewed as cheating in their eyes – that it is offensive to them that their husbands would look at another woman to get sexual gratification instead of turning to them. But many of these same “Good Christian Women” were standing in line to buy the next copy of the 50 Shades trilogy. Their argument is that its just a book, its a love story and it contains no sexual images only text. Guess what ladies – you're fooling yourselves. 

It's been a long time understanding that when it comes to sexual stimulation, the men are more visual. Women on the other hand, like the long and drawn out. For most men, all one needs is to see an attractive woman and his mind instantly goes to what he could be doing with said woman. Women on the other hand want the seduction. We don't have an on/off switch– we are more like a tea kettle: it takes a bit of time and energy to get us warmed up. This is why books such as Harlequin romances or 50 Shades of Grey appeal to us – the build up occurs over time. However, the end result is the same whether it be a man looking at some “Big Booty Babes” web site or a female reading an erotic book – both are sexually stimulated. The only difference is that where men have to hide their online history or Playboy collection, women can put it on their coffee tables, carry them around with them in their purses, read them on their kindles, and it is just a part of polite society. There's not a single woman out there who has read these books and said “Oh, I thought about my husband the entire time I was reading this”.. BULLSHIT! How is it any different for men to look at a video of a strange woman and get aroused than it is for you to lay in your beds reading while getting hot and bothered over Christian Grey? It's hypocritical to sit there and preach about the sins of pornography and refuse your husband to view pornographic images but then you turn around feel its okay to read it just because its a book. You're worried about your husband fantasizing about someone else in the bedroom but you're doing the same thing.

He's brainless - but even Gaston knows the truth.

Now, don't get me wrong, what you do in your bedroom – none of my business. You can swing from the ceiling fan dressed up as Tarzan and Jane for all I care. I'm sure there are plenty of closet freaks on this base and hey – that's alright. More power to ya. If you watch porn together, that's fine too. Again, none of my business but at least in that case, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. But when I get these high and mighty women who tell me how porn is not allowed in their homes, how its immoral and a sin, only to see them sitting at the picnic bench at a playdate and pulling out their copy of 50 Shades and saying “oh, its okay, its just a book – its a love story” - I want to slap the shit out of them. Or when I hear that a child cannot be included in a play group because their parents don't attend chapel on base (so obviously the child is Satan's spawn and would only taint their precious children by association) when these same mom's are reading smut I wouldn't want around my kids. The same parents who say “oh, we don't allow cable programming in our home because there's too much sex on television” are reading material written much more descriptive and perverse in nature than anything on HBO. Can we say Hypocrite? You say you would feel dirty knowing your husband got turned on by watching a set of tits on TV and then made love to you but you allow “erotica” to get you aroused, and then you use that arousal to make love to your husband. It's the same thing people.

I feel bad about the girl on base who was ostracized because she stated this very same opinion. I don't know the girl nor am I friends with her but I do remember seeing her removed from various Edwards groups. Maybe she's yet another completely crazy bitch on this base, Lord knows there's a shit ton of them here. I don't know. But to know that she was shunned for calling a horses ass a horses ass is, in my opinion, crap. Those in the group may not like what she had to say – tough shit people. You can try to justify your enjoyment in the books any way you want – and again, I don't care if you like the books – you're entitled to read and enjoy anything you want – but get off your high horse and pull the stick out of your ass. It IS porn and there's not a single justification you can make that changes that fact. Kicking some girl out of a group because you don't want to admit that you're enjoying porn doesn't change the facts. Rather than get all butthurt over reality, embrace it – you like porn – so do a lot of people. The sex industry makes roughly $14 BILLION a year – so you're in good company. I'm all for embracing your sexuality and becoming liberated in the bedroom – have at it, I'm sure your husband would much rather that then you laying there like a limp noodle and queuing the moans in all the right places. The point is – don't sit there and lie to yourself and others – it's not a “love story” - its erotic filth about sex, BDSM, and other kinky shit people normally don't talk about in society. It's the equivalent to men saying they read Playboy “just for the articles”.

In closing, I leave you with this little treasure.. 

Until next time....