Year after year, Memorial day rolls around and you see the posts. "I want to thank my husband for his service". I even saw a post (Not by you ladies thank God or I'd have to come out of the woodwork and come slap you) where a wife was talking about thanking other wives today. I guess the mentality is that if it involves a flag and the military, hey, its another day for you to flaunt the fact you're a military wife. They change their profile picture to photos of their husbands in their uniforms and post how proud they are of their husbands service. Some people are a bit better but still do not comprehend the idea of Memorial day by posting photographs or updates about how proud they are of fathers or grandfathers who served but are still living. There's a day to honor those as well - its called Veterans Day and is in November.
Maybe people just don't understand the difference between Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Armed Forces Day. And maybe, some people just don't care - I have one wife on my "friends list" (and I use that term loosely as she is a family member) who only cares that she is a military wife and that anything and everything that might even refer to the military is about her as well. You know the type, she's the one who will tell everyone she's married to the military, how she has it so hard and sacrifices so much. She will talk about how hard deployments are, even though her husband is fresh out of AIT and she has never been through a deployment in her life. But she has to have the attention, has to make it about her. She never says how proud she is of her husband (even when he graduated Basic) but instead made it all about her. People like that you cannot educated - when she posts how Memorial Day is about celebrating her husband the all American Hero you can't correct her - she doesn't care. Its yet another day for her to get attention - and unfortunately she's not the only one like that out there.
Its days like today where one can read their fellow military wives posts and know who gets it and who's just in it because its a status thing. The ones who get it know what memorial day is about - a day of remembrance to remember the fallen. To honor those who went off to fight a war in a foreign land but never came home or who came home in a flag draped wooden box. Its about the 405,399 who died in World War 2, the 36,516 who died in Korea, 58,209 in Vietnam, the 258 in the original Gulf War, and in the more recent the 1,803 in Afghanistan and 4,800 in the Iraq War. Putting it in words you might understand - if your husband is outside barbequing then today is not about him or about you.
When I see posts like I do today, I wish that I could take the offending wife (and actually, I did see an actual military member who had no clue what today was about so I'll include him as well) out to Arlington National Cemetery. Walk among the white marble headstones and actually feel the silence and vastness as far as you can see. I've had the honor of visiting Arlington in the past and its an experience I believe every military member and spouse should experience because it puts so much in perspective. No longer is it about a dependent ID card, BX privileges and free tickets to Sea World. Military discounts seem like such a very small compensation when you're looking over the 624 acres of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.
I think every military wife should be required to watch movies like "We Were Soldiers", "Saving Private Ryan" and "Band of Brothers". Lord forbid if one ever has to be notified that their loved one has been killed in combat - I wouldn't wish that on anyone - but maybe by watching a movie showing how war really is, not how its depicted on "Army Wives", one might obtain a bit more understanding. We've toned down the realities of war, made it politically correct and more digestible when the realities are gruesome and heart wrenching. Very rarely are groups of women sitting together drinking wine, the kids at the babysitters, when a wife is notified that their husband gave the ultimate sacrifice and will be flying home with honors. The realities are closed caskets, children who lose their parents long before they will have memories of them, and a spouse trying to pick up and rebuild after the fact. Its the rows upon rows of marble headstones in Arlington, the white crosses in Normandy American Cemetery in France, or the silent markers in the various military cemeteries throughout the country.
Until Next Time.....
Amen!
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