Bitches Gonna Bitch

It's been a bit of time since I've written – life often gets the best of you when you least expect it. The enemy #1 seems to be the flu virus which has kept me pretty much bed ridden for a bit but I wanted to sit and write about what everyone is talking about.

Earlier this month, directly following the 3 day holiday weekend, housing on base went from being owned by the Air Force to being owned by a privatized company, Corvias military living. We all knew that this was coming – granted the process was kinda shoved on us last minute but still we have all been hearing it was going to happen for some time now. People have been bitching for a couple of years now about it not happening then when it finally does happen people once again began to bitch because it was happening. If people aren't bitching about something then they just are not happy I guess. 

One of the “perks” to privatized housing is that Corvias will be taking care of the grass – something that has been our responsibility here on base in the past. With any business venture, kinks have to be worked out with a new company, one of which is how to maintain 400+ yards plus park areas. Working out these kinks means trying to figure out exactly how many workers it will take to maintain these areas, what schedule will work best with these workers, figuring out if more workers need to be hired, ect, ect. In all honestly, it seems as if Corvias has been doing their best to try to make the transition a positive one for us, however you're not going to be able to make everyone happy – or with the case in this base, people are going to bitch.

Sure enough, within 24 hours of Corvias taking over the property, the bitching began. Because of the holiday, some housing areas grass was not cut on the Monday that grass will normally be taken care of once the schedule is running smoothly. Holy shit – people went ape shit I tell you. I would have hated to have been working in the Corvias office on Tuesday morning when the phone calls started rolling in demanding to know why their grass was not cut and the demands of having their grass cut immediately, regardless of the holiday putting a one week delay on their area . Corvias turned around and tried to accommodate these demands. Their workers began working overtime to try to get at last everyone's front yards mowed but then the bitches started up again – the back yards were not done, the flower beds were not weeded, the grass was not cut to their satisfaction.

Here's a reality check – if you are accustomed to a perfectly manicured yard and it means that much to you, bring your happy ass outside and continue to maintain your lawn the way you feel it should be maintained. However, driving around base prior to Corvias taking over, I can't say I have ever seen any lawns that were about to be acknowledged in Home and Garden magazine for being exceptional. I've driven by homes where people haven't touched their yards for months - the grass is knee high and the flower beds were so overgrown that it looked like a forest. I've seen backyards so poorly maintained that they have resorted back to the desert surroundings, completely without grass and with sage brush growing everywhere. To those who were bitching because their grass was not cut immediately – how many of you actually cut your grass weekly to begin with? I know that I have one of the nicer lawns in my neighborhood and I know we sure the hell don't mow it every week. 

Some of the comments I've been reading have honestly kept me pretty entertained. My favorite was the woman bitching because Corvias did in fact weed her flowerbeds – she claimed she was “embarassed” because they missed a spot. If your flowerbeds were so bad that one missed spot is such an embarrassment then obviously they were in pretty pathetic shape to begin with. That tells me that you neglected the upkeep on your flowerbeds and are now expecting Corvias to get them into pristine condition. If they weren't an embarrassment to you prior to Corvias weeding them, then they sure the hell don't suddenly become an embarrassment just because they missed a spot. If you're that damn worried about it, take your ass off facebook, stop bitching and go out and pull a few weeds so you are no longer “embarrassed”.

Point is, everyone needs to take a chill pill and give this new company time to get things back on track. But some people already bring to the table such a negative attitude about the privatization crossover that they have allowed that negativity to reflect in everything Corvias will do. Edwards is not the first property that Corvias has acquired from the government – this isn't their first rodeo. Give them time to get things on track – they had to deal with housing yanking them around, leaving them in a limbo and then try to pick up the pieces immediately following a holiday weekend. If you're that damn unhappy with your lawn, go mow it yourself. Corvias did not acquire Outdoor Recreation, you can still rent lawn mowers from there. 

Lawn care is a service Corvias is offering us free of charge. If they lag behind, its on them, not on you. You have two options, wait til they make their way to your neighborhood or go outside and cut the grass yourself if it bothers you so much. But bitching about a free service accomplishes nothing. If we were paying for them to maintain the yards it would be a completely different story but it's not costing you a single cent for them to send a crew of workers out in the high temperatures of the midday sun (sometimes in triple digits) to cut your grass. So far, we have come off as some pretty ungrateful entitled bitches with all the bitching going on.

Until Next Time

DOD to Military: If you're not Gay then you can take it up the .....

Last week, the DOD (Department of Defense for those of you not up on your military acronyms) announced that in order to “provide fairness” to those members of the service who are homosexual to get married, the military would now generously give them 10 days of uncharged guaranteed leave in order to get married. I'm going to call crap on this policy, I think its absolute crap, pure and simple.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against homosexuals in the military. I don't care if a homosexual couple moves next door to me, nor do I care if a homosexual works with my husband. I honestly don't care if a homosexual were to deploy with my husband and see his ass butt naked in the showers – it doesn't bother me. However, this new “policy” bugs the shit out of me.

If a straight, heterosexual military member decides to get married out of state, they have to put in for leave and hope it get approved. There's no guarantee it will get approved, one has to hope and pray their superior approves it. When it is approved, it comes out of what days they have banked up, if you only have 5 days banked, well, you better get married really fast and get your ass back in time. No honeymoon for you. I know many people who have planned a wedding only to have something go wrong, whether it was leave not being approved or the wedding was outside the travel radius that was approved. Shit happens in the military, quite often.

However, now the DOD says “hey, if your gay, guess what, the rules do not apply to you.”.. If you're gay and want to get married, you automatically get 10 days, regardless if you've got that time banked or not. And its 10 days free, just for being gay and getting married.

How is this policy fair in any way shape or form? If a military member is deployed to a foreign combat theater for 1 year or more, they are given 15 days R&R which they are charged for out of their normal leave account. So basically the DOD is saying we will reward you for just being gay by giving you 10 days to go get married, but if your straight and putting your life on the line, you gotta pay for it yourself?

Originally, with the repeal of “Don't Ask – Don't Tell” we were told that all the government wanted to do was make it so that homosexual military members could have the same rights as their straight counterparts. I don't mind this, I honestly don't – but this does NOT create a level playing field across the board. To me, Equal means that both homosexual and heterosexual military members get the exact same treatment – access to military healthcare, BAH, survivor benefits for spouses. Equal does not mean give one side better treatment or more benefits than the other and tell us that it's fair. I'm sure there's plenty of heterosexual military members who would love to be given 10 free leave days to get married but that's not going to happen. So, why should homosexuals get it?

Fair is making homosexual members pay for their leave out of their accrued normal leave account, just like their straight counterparts. What's next DOD? Give homosexual couples who are E-4 or below houses established for Field Grade officers because they might not be comfortable living with possibly discrimination from straight E-4 and below in JNCO housing?

In my opinion (Not that the DOD or President Obama asked me for it ) is that by giving homosexual members “perks” or extras like the 10 extra days , instead of making the transition easier, it will only cause animosity between straight service members and homosexual service members. It doesn't matter if someone is Gay or Straight, they all serve the same military, the same country and should be given the same treatment. 

Until next Time...

Like Bob Barker says : Please remember to have your Pets Spayed or Neutered - Or Else!

Time for a new blog. I'm sure some have thought I have forgotten about you guys, I have not. I'm still around but work and life dictate when I'm able to write. Oh, responsibilities, you have a fine way of interfering with any fun that I have.

Topic today is probably going to piss a few people off and I am fine with that. Getting pissed off about something is healthy – it means that you're passionate about something. Some of you are going to agree with me as well and that's fine too. Either way, this blog is how I feel about things that occur on this base so I tell it the way that I see it.

This is how I see it:

Now, I'll be the first to admit that there are some piss poor pet owners on this base. There's a number of you who really shouldn't have pets. Pets are a responsibility and the decision to adopt a pet is one that should never be taken lightly. Many things should be considered when you adopt a new pet to bring in your home – do you have the time to actually take care and socialize that pet? Do you have the room for that pet because small cute puppies often grow up to be large dogs who need a yard and exercise for example. So many times people see a cute puppy and make a spur of the moment decision to bring it home without considering these factors and before you know it, the pup is being rehomed from no fault of its own but that of the irresponsible owner. Yes, these types of situations happen and its unfortunate. But, this is not what I want to write about.

Just One Example of a typical "free pet" post response

What grinds my gears is to see when people post on FB asking to rehome their pet and someone jumps their ass for it. Now, there are the “habitual rehomers” that do post and I can understand why someone would jump their ass – I mean, if you've rehomed 10 pets in 12 months then you need to stop getting dogs. In this case, the problem is not the dog but the owner. However, I'm speaking in regards to people who post one post saying they're cat had kittens and are looking for a home for them. Or the one time poster of someone who has a dog they need to rehome for one reason or another. There's always a handful of people who have to jump on the threads and bitch people out for either not having their pet fixed or for getting an animal without consideration for the long term responsibility.  When someone posts “looking for a forever home for my pet ASAP” with no other details, we don't know the details of the why.

This burns my ass because I've been in that situation before and had someone bitched me out about not having a pet fixed, I would have been beyond pissed. I'm a strong proponent for getting your pets fixed, you'll hear no arguments out of me here. However, guess what people? SHIT HAPPENS!! Yup, it happens a lot. I've had numerous cats in my lifetime and I've had a litter kittens born under my care. I once adopted an already pregnant cat and found loving homes for the offspring. Two months after she had her kittens, she was fixed. If someone bitched me out for being “irresponsible” when I was trying to find homes for those kittens, I would have been pretty livid. 

Here's a news flash to you bitches – get off your fucking high horses and shut your damn traps. If you don't know the situation, shut the fuck up, pure and simple. Not every pet post needs to be a teaching opportunity for you to preach about responsibility and give you the right to make people feel like shit when they have kittens or puppies. In your perfect world, every animal would be fixed but if that were the case, there would no longer be cats and dogs without a 500 dollar price tag since the only animals breeding would be purebred and expensive -which would also comes along with all the health problems many purebred animals have – making pet ownership only available to those in the higher tax brackets. Yes, there's plenty of unwanted pets out there, I understand this and animals repopulate at alarming speeds. So do some humans yet nobody's screaming “fix that woman” every time another baby is born.

Just shut the fuck up already – we all know to fix our pets. Hell, its even on The Price is Right . Bitching people out is not going to change things and it sure the hell isn't productive to an already born animal.

Then, there's the people who bitch out people when they rehome an existing pet. Again, without knowing the situation, these bitches (usually the same bitches who always post the links or bitches about fixing your pet) always jump and say some shit like “you shouldn't ever get another pet as you're an irresponsible pet owner”. Again, bitches, you don't know the situation. I for one don't always understand the reasoning for rehoming a pet just because you're PCSing – I've done it with pets and it turned out fine, however unless I know the whole story, I'm not going to cast judgment. Instead, I hope that the pet finds a good home. But that's not good enough for you bitches – nope, you got to jump on a thread and once again berate a person for their decision. Here's another news flash – be glad they are looking for a good home for their pet and not just dropping them off in the desert to become coyote fodder. When you see a post of a pet looking for a new home, actually look at the picture. Does the pet look healthy? Does it look well cared for? Is its weight appropriate for its size? If the pet looks like its been well cared for, then stop for a moment and consider that the owner has taken the time to care for and love the pet and it is probably hard for them to let the animal go but situations have deemed it necessary. Maybe in the case of a PCS, the pet is elderly and couldn't make the travel without being a risk to its life so the owner would rather part with the pet then to risk its life. Maybe the owner got the pet years ago, loved and cared for it, but then had a child who is allergic – last I checked you can't get rid of the kid. I'm not saying that if someone posts “I need to get rid of this dog because my yard isn't big enough” and they post a picture of a huge horse of a dog sitting in a patch of grass the size of a postage stamp that maybe one suggests in the future they get a smaller dog that doesn't need much room but instead of bitching people out and giving them a lecture on almost every post, have some tact and just shut the fuck up. 

Hell, you even criticize people when they don't feed their pets food that you feel is adequate - Shame on anyone who feeds their pet "Purina" - Don't you know you should be cooking wild game for your pets?  Anything less is considered animal abuse in the eyes of the lecturers. Fuck people - if a family can't afford to eat steak every fucking day, do you honestly think they can afford to feed their pet steak every day? I've yet to see one pet food that anyone of these people actually approve of - you can't buy shit at the commissary or they bitch, you can't buy shit from the vet or they bitch. Nothing is good enough for your pet except slaughtering a cow in your own back yard and feeding it to your pet.  Shame on you if you don't spend all that extra money on pet food - you shouldn't own a pet. Come on people - stop making people feel guilty because they can't afford a 50 dollar bag of Blue Buffalo dog food and instead opt for a 15 dollar bag of whatever at the Commissary -and before I get bitched out, my cat eats Taste of the Wild so we'll nip that argument in the bud right now. Yes, some people are going to feed their pets "inferior" pet foods and that might be all they can afford. Get over it - feed your pet whatever the hell you want and mind your own damn business. You bitching and posting about how dangerous commercial pet food will not change the fact that some people are on a very small fixed income but still want to own pets.  Hell, I find it more offensive you dress your pets up in pink fru fru designer outfits when they already have a perfectly fine fur coat. Halloween is fine but on an every day basis? It looks fucking stupid.

For your dog's sake, buy a baby doll or something if you need to dress something up.

Here's another thing. It's fair to say there are many people who need to learn the difference between a pet and a kid. Yes, I understand, you love your pet, I love my pets. However, your “fur babies” are still animals and there's a number of you who seem to forget this fact. No matter how diligent an owner may be, dogs are dogs and occasionally escape their confines. This is one of those things that hasn't necessary been bred out of dogs, they wander if given the opportunity. On this base, there are dogs who have been known to jump the fences, dig holes under the fences or squeeze through the smallest gap of those fences. Dogs also have something known as prey drive and needless to say this base has a shit ton of squirrels running around teasing the base dogs. All it takes is one squirrel to

Those damn Slutty Squirrels

give your dog that “come hither” look, shake its bushy tail in a seductive manner (you know how those slutty squirrels are) and before you know it, your dog is like your husband at a titty bar. Dogs are dogs, they are not kids. You may “train” your dog to stay in the confines of your fence but if given the opportunity and the stimuli, your dog is going to do what dogs do, they are going to escape. I'm sure when this happens, the owner is scared for the safety of the dog. Many times they often have to deal with the embarrassment of their dog's (and sometimes their cat's) photo plastered all over the Edwards pages. While I'm sure these owners are very grateful when someone houses their pet long enough for them to retrieve it, I'm sure its still embarrassing as all fuck for them. And yet, some of you bitches decide to take this one step further and give your lecture about the owner being “irresponsible”. Seriously, keep your fucking mouth shut for Christ's sake. Get off your high horse and stop giving unnecessary and unwanted lectures – all you do is piss people off, cause drama and look like a self-righteous bitch.

As said, I understand pets are a responsibility and we should love and take care of them. I also understand they are a lifetime commitment. But, I also understand that no matter what you say to people on Facebook, you're not going to change the situation. Take your unsolicited advice and shove it right up your ass. People don't need to be lectured every time they post – and while some people may say that this post is “unsolicited advice” I'd like to point out that nobody forced you to come to this blog site and read this – you came here knowing this blog is me posting my opinion. However, someone posting looking for a home for an animal is not posting looking for someone to post about their irresponsibility as a pet owner.

I have never seen anyone respond positively to one of these posters – I've never seen anyone say “oh, thank you so much for letting me know I should have had my pet fixed before it had a litter of unwanted babies. I've now seen the errors of my ways and shall promptly make an appointment at the vet at my earliest convenience.”. I've never seen anyone who's pet got loose say “Thank you for pointing out that I should do everything in my nature to make sure my pet never accidentally gets out of its yard. I can't believe I have been so irresponsible as a pet owner and I will promptly fix the problem.” Instead, I've seen a lot of “I didn't post this for your negativity. Please get off my thread” and shit to that nature. 

Take a hint people – nobody wants your lectures and nobody wants your negativity. The only thing you accomplish posting this shit is pissing people off.

Until next time...

Battle Lines Have Been Drawn

Today I thought I would cover a topic that's pretty controversial. It has nothing to do with Edwards itself - or the people of Edwards - but this country as a whole.

In the wake of the Zimmerman/Martin trial and Zimmerman's acquittal, one thing has become very apparent. Lines have been drawn in this country in ways we have not seen since the days of the Civil War.  War has been declared in this country but unfortunately the sides are not clear cut nor are they fighting for something honorable like independence. Suddenly everyone is enemy #1 no matter who you are.

This country is failing fast and there's no sign of any deliverance any time in the near future. Yet instead of the American people pulling together and deciding to fight for this country and our rights, we decide to fight against each other for no other reason then the reason to do so.

People are being attacked on the streets all over this country for no reason beyond their skin color, all in the name of "justice" for Trayvon Martin. Tell me people, exactly what this accomplishes? Whether one believes Zimmerman was right or wrong, where does the mentality of punishing everyone of a specific race as justice come from? Is it fair to "Kill the Whitey" because a jury of 6 found Zimmerman innocent? Is it fair to lump all blacks as hoodie wearing thugs because of the actions of Martin? To make matters worse, we made a whole new classification of race during this trial - Zimmerman who is considered Hispanic - was suddenly classified as a "White Hispanic". We have an entire generation of mixed children - where one parent is black and one is white - but we do not classify these children as "White African Americans", do we? However, suddenly we have "White Hispanics" in order for the media to make this case a white vs black hate crime and a civil rights case.

Here's a news flash people - take it or leave it. The media told you exactly what they wanted you to believe and you took that bait - hook line and sinker. .

The photos that were constantly shown on the news.

Martin was not an angel, regardless to what the media may have tried to paint him as. He was not an innocent kid just out buying skittles and tea. He was not the smiling kid in the photographs plastered all over the media. He was a huge "thug" (his own words, not my own) who lived for violence. He was a drug addict, a thief and a racist. His autopsy was shown to prove that he he had a history of using "Lean" - a narcotic drink made by mixing Arizona Watermelon drink, skittles and codine cough syrup.

Zimmerman was also no angel either but he was not the monster portrayed by the media. He was overly gung ho about his position as watchdog for his neighborhood watch program but he was not the racist white man that the media said he was. Along with facts about Martin, facts about Zimmerman have come to light after the trial verdict. He was a man who went out of his way to protect the rights of individuals of color when he felt they were treated unfairly.

Day after day, crimes upon people occur. Each day, hundreds of crimes take place - white on black, black on white, black on black, white on white, Hispanic on Hispanic. Yet, these crimes do not take top slot in our news. However, this incident in Florida which in all reality was much less heinous then many of the murders that take place on a daily basis, was force fed down our throats. Why is that? 

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not going to use this blog to defend Zimmerman or tarnish Martin. However, I will say that I have voiced my opinion more than once to state how I felt about this case and have had people "unfriend" me solely because my opinion was not that of crucifying Zimmerman. (My opinion is that they were both in the wrong). I've had facebook feeds saying if anyone dares to post anything in favor of Zimmerman or the verdict that they would be unfriended immediately.  People feel very strongly about this case - Why? Why this case? Why is there such an outcry for Martin who's actions and choices led to his death? Why is there no outcry for Antonio Santiago, a 13 month old boy shot in the head while sitting in his stroller by two black teenagers who tried to rob his mother? Because black on white crimes doesn't fan the flames of hatred that the media needed, even if it involved a truly innocent child killed in cold blood. Why?

Antonio Santiago - shot on March 11th, 2013.

Maybe its because the current administration figured that by focusing our attention on Zimmerman/Martin and fan the flames of racism, they could shift attention away from issues that would draw attention to them and make those in this country question their motives. When was the last time a story about Benghazi headline news? Or the national debt? Why would the shooting of one individual take precedence over more important issues?

Let me inform you of just how uneducated the national media and the government would have us be. During the Zimmerman trial, how many of my readers were aware that the President signed an agreement with Russia in order to bring 15,000  Russian troops into the US to assist with an upcoming "disaster"? Originally when I heard this story, I had thought it was typical conspiracy theory BS. Unfortunately, it is not false information. The truth is that nobody knows exactly why these troops were brought into this country - some believe that it might be because our own US military cannot be used against civilians in this country. Who knows for sure. But I look at it this way - if the US Government cannot afford to pay our military and are constantly making budget cuts, why would they pay for a foreign military?

Since I'm on the topic of our troops, were you also aware that during all the the Zimmerman/Martin attention, the government announced that because of the failure by Congress to end budget sequestration that the government might force the services in fiscal 2014 to freeze military promotions, suspend recruiting and halt all change of station moves?  While everyone's attention was focused on a trial that had no true effect on our lives, the government was playing a slight of hand. Hope you like Edwards people, because if the Government gets it way, you won't be going anywhere anytime soon. Hope all you military guys got your promotion this year because it not, you're probably going to be stuck in your current rank for a long long time, because it doesn't look like anything will be changing anytime soon. And where does it make sense that we're going to pay for 15000 troops from Russia but we can't afford our own military troops?


 I will admit, I have never been an Obama supporter and I have never voted for him, I felt the other opponents were a better choice for our country. Yet, for the last 5 years, we have been told that if you do not support the President, you are a racist, especially if your skin is white. When it comes to politics these days, the color of your skin determines if you are allowed to have an opinion or not. Even before the first election, when Obama was campaigning this was made apparent when a the word "articulate" was used to describe Senator Obama and was deemed a racist comment. (Ironically, the white man who described the Senator as such was Joe Biden, who became Obama's running mate and later his Vice President).  I will be the first to admit that I believe the current President and his wife feel that they are either Royalty or celebrities other than just an elected political figurehead. They jet set all over the world taking back to back frivolous vacations on the taxpayers dimes while telling the American people that this country is in financial crisis and that this country cannot pay its bills.  The government shuts down the White House (a building paid for and maintained by our tax dollars) saying there's no money to pay for tours for groups of school kids or visitors to DC, yet celebrities such as Justin Timberlake, Jay-Z and Beyoncé can go in and out like they live there anytime they want  and perform private concerts (again on the tax payer's backs) because they are "good friends" with the first family. School children are going hungry at school because the First Lady has made severe caloric limitations and foods given at school lunches while her and her children eat high on the hog. Yet, hey, Trayvon Martin is much more important for the American people to know about then what is going on in our own back yard, right?

This administration has done absolutely nothing to bring the American people together. Instead, it has seemed to do everything in its power to cause animosity between the people, drawing lines between the races. The President has broken into normal broadcasts in order to issue statements about the death of Whitney Houston and to speak openly about his feelings about Trayvon Martin, yet upon the death of Margaret Thatcher he failed to attend or send anyone as a representative of this country to her funeral.  When a cracked out singer who dies of an overdose takes precedence over one of the greatest women to have lived, you have to start questioning the decisions being made.

I'm definitely not a politician. I wouldn't even consider myself an armchair politician to be honest.  However, I am beginning to feel I'm the wrong color and even the wrong nationality for the current administration to support and represent me.  I am not black, I am not unemployed, I am not an illegal immigrant, I am not gay. I do not need government assistance, or a free cell phone, or Obamacare.  However, I am a middle working class, college educated white female who is married to a military member. I own guns, I own a gas guzzling vehicle, and I pay my own bills and my own way. This puts me in a very unpopular minority in this country.  It also puts myself and my family at risk now, when this country is so heated in hatred in a war of black vs whites. 

In closing, I'd like to leave you with a few quotes a very wise man. A man of color who understood that you don't stand with your hand out for freebies but knew the importance of struggle, suffering and working to make this country better. A man who understood that people all needed to stand together, not separate themselves based on skin color, in order for this country (and mankind in general) to survive. This world needs more Martin Luther King Jr's and less of the Jesse Jacksons and Al Sharptons of this world.. This country needs leaders who can bring us all together - the more we're divided against ourselves, the easier it is for us to allow our government to force us to look one way while we should be looking the other.

"Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent"

"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools"

"Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world that we must love our enemies - or else? The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars- must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation"

Until next time...

Do the bugs cost extra or are they free of charge?

It's been a bit since I've written here – that damn thing called life has a way of interfering and putting projects on hold.

Today I felt like addressing something that affects us all, something that at one point in time during our stay at this wonderful beloved base we have probably all bitched about.

The Commissary.

Our Commissary will never be featured on the Defense Commissary Agency's facebook's "Guess this Commissary" posts.

Now let me start off by saying that I am very grateful to have the commissary because without out would mean driving 45 miles to Walmart unless I wanted to pay out the ass at Albertson's in Rosamond. Since I can't afford a tub of Vaseline prior to the ass reaming that Albertson's prices cause and driving to Lancaster is less than desirable every time I realize I need Tampax or toilet paper, I'm glad that we have the convenience of the commissary on base.

With that said – shopping at the commissary is something that is a hit or miss.

The prices are great for the most part – especially when compared to Albertson's. The fact that we do not pay taxes when shopping at the commissary, even better. But beyond that, our commissary really lacks when compared to other commissaries on other bases.

I have a list of gripes that piss me off when it comes to our commissary. Maybe I shouldn't bitch and should be grateful that we even HAVE a commissary to begin with. However, some things that I have seen in my time here really makes me question some of the products, pricing and convenience that the commissary provides. My list is many but I will outline just a few.

Now, anyone who lives here at Edwards knows that this base is forgotten in time. While the family housing is newer, most of the other facilities are pretty old. Nothing can be done about this - with all the budget cuts I am sure that there is absolutely nothing in those government dollars to plan for a new commissary. Basically, we're stuck with what we've got and what we've got was probably built somewhere during the cold war. (Okay, probably not that long ago, but you know what I mean). 

Built around the same time as our commissary?

 Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting floors that I can eat off of. However it becomes a problem when you walk into the building and its 90 degrees and humid as fuck in there. The swamp coolers, it seems, have also been affected by the furlough and are being forced not to work. It's not that I don't mind a little bit of sweat but the issue comes when food begins to spoil. 

 True story – the other day I went into the commissary to pick up some groceries and I came upon this packaged piece of salmon. Now, I love seafood and try to eat fish whenever possible. However, with our lack of selections (more about that in a minute), my disdain for Tilapia and my refusal to eat whatever the hell a “Milkfish” is, it's usually not something I purchase here. I pick up this package of “fresh” salmon and show my husband and then the smell hits us. If you've never smelled a piece of rotten fish before, its something you don't want to experience. There's two stages of fish stink - the first is that “fishy” smell, the second reeks of ammonia. This fish reeked of both. The label was not expired and I am willing to put money on the fact the fish was not like that when the meat department put it out. The issue was the fact that it was way too warm in the facility and the fish was placed in a cooling area that was not closed off, thus the fish was not kept cool enough and had spoiled. Unfortunate, all meat in our commissary is displayed the same way. 

Yup, it stinks that bad

 A second bitch I have comes in the form of produce. I'm very cautious when buying produce here and I have learned there are things you buy and things you do not buy here. Our commissary does a wonderful job of providing really fresh produce bought from local growers, albeit the selection could be better. However, smaller prepackaged produce such as raspberries – forget it, I won't buy them here. I bought a carton of berries one day to mix in pancakes and had to throw the entire batch out the following day because they were completely infested with hundreds of small bugs. I don't care how much you wash raspberries – you are not going to get all of those bugs out of them and while we enjoy our protein, I'd rather get it in the form of something without 6 legs. I've heard similar stories involving other produce such as Brussels spouts being infested with bugs as well so I know my unfortunate experience was not a one time only deal. 

My third bitch – selection or lack thereof. Do you ever pick up the military use only coupons that are at the commissary or do you use the commissary card that they threw at us constantly months ago where they talked about huge savings. These coupons are practically useless because half the time none of the things those coupons are for are in our commissary. Here's something to think about. Going back to the seafood selection – who the hell eats milkfish? Does anyone reading this actually buy milkfish? Nobody I know does. When the “Seafood Roadshow” shows up and I don't get there on the first day, they are almost always sold out of whatever form of catfish they have whether it be filets or nuggets. They also sell out of salmon and tuna. Why does the commissary not carry catfish? Why does it not sell fresh tuna steaks? Why the hell do they sell three different brands of milkfish and not fish that people are actually familiar with? This is particularly upsetting when you have the HAWC and the Clinic telling people how seafood is a very important part of a diet, rich in Omega-3 fatty acids for heart health yet our fresh seafood is limited to one shelf offering spoiled fish and a few frozen fish nobody is familiar with. While the selection issue involves much more than just seafood, its a prime example of where our commissary severely lacks. When there are more flavors and brands of ramen noodles taking up an entire aisle, more choices in what to feed our pets and more choices in cigarettes but very few choices by way of healthy proteins (not counting the bugs on the produce), especially in a community that preaches a healthy lifestyle, then maybe whomever orders for stocking needs to rethink what they are ordering. 

Finally, the prices. Granted, prices are better than the nearest supermarket which is Albertson's. But the trend seems to be that prices increase significantly right before payday, only to drop off again a few days later. There are items that I have learned to buy in the middle of the pay period so that I can pay the lower price. Pet food is one of these items – two days before payday the prices increase by almost a dollar, only to drop back to normal a week later. Another thing that I notice is that if a coupon is offered for savings on an item, that price will increase on that item. I noticed this the other day when the commissary had a stack of coupons for my usual coffee creamer zip tied right in front of the bottle of my liquid gold. Normally, the creamer that I purchase is $2.69 a bottle. The coupon displayed was for 40cents off but the price was increased to $2.99. Sure, I still saved 10 cents off what I normally pay but I still felt like we as a community were being screwed. Saving 40, 50, 60 cents on several items adds up quickly and helps keep money in our pockets and instead of allowing the military community to save that money, they instead increase the prices to circumvent the savings that might have been earned. I'm sure once the date of expiration on the coupons has passed, my creamer will once again be $2.69.

I try to keep an open mind when it comes to the commissary. The employees who work there have always been very nice and professional. And I know its an older, smaller building compared to the newer facilities on other bases. I understand that this limits the space in which they have to stock shelves. I do think it would be nice to see a lot more healthy items available in the forms of more produce, fresh baked goods made with whole grains rather than enriched flour, fresh (and unspoiled) selections of seafoods, and leaner cuts of meats such as maybe ground chicken breast in addition to the ground turkey. I'd love to see the swamp coolers replaced with an actual refrigerated A/C unit as swamp coolers are basically worthless when we have 100+ degree weather, causing food spoilage that we end up bringing home to our families. I'd like to see the prices stop fluctuating and leaving me feeling like I'm taking it up the ass just because its payday. 

If its around payday, you might need this

Most of all, I'd like for once to pull out of the commissary with a feeling of knowing that I was able to shop with our hard earned money to buy the best possible food choices I could have made because I was given more healthy choices rather than bypassing three quarters of the aisles containing nothing but junk.

Thank You For Your Service - But You Shouldn't Be Allowed to See Santa

Today's topic is one that recently came to my attention by a submission and as I corresponded with that person as well as a few other people, it literally got my blood boiling.

There are topics I write on here that while I may be slightly irritated with the situation (numerous requests for Wrap It parties for example), not a whole lot actually truly upsets me. I'm one of those who kind of just goes with the flow and fight my battles wisely. If it doesn't immediately affect my life to the point that my happiness is hindered, then I'm not all that worried about it. Example, on Wednesday I went to the commissary and got some groceries. I waited in line for almost 15 minutes because everyone else was buying their groceries as well since the following day was the holiday and the commissary would be closed. Finally, it was just about my turn. Just as the customer in line was paying for his stuff, a woman with a toddler pulls her cart up to the checkout and starts unloading. Nevermind the line that was waiting and had been waiting. When told there was a line she said “I have a baby” and continued to unload her stuff. Part of me wanted to say “Well, that may be the case but I have a rack of ribs and a half gallon of buttermilk that has been waiting for 15 minutes” but I didn't. My life did not end because this woman skipped the line – sure it was irritating but it wasn't life altering. The extra minute wait for another line to finish just didn't alter the cohesiveness of the universe and so life goes on. I could have gotten quite OSMW on this woman but what would it have accomplished? This is what I mean when I say I pick my battles carefully.

However, there are times when grave injustices are brought to my attention – sometimes through observation and sometimes from word of mouth from others. Today's topic is one of these cases. Much of this blog is random venting of mine that is mostly just to entertain. If you learn from it, then I'm happy but I do understand that many people are reading it just to see who or what I go off on in my writing. Most of the time, I'm not really all that upset about the topic, just slightly irritated and want to blow of steam. This time, I hope that many of you take notice and actually learn, change and grow from what I'm about to write.

So here we go.

It was brought to my attention that when it comes to the retired military community, there's a line drawn by the wives of active military members. Basically, there are a number of wives who believe their families are above the families of retired personnel solely based on the fact that their husbands are Active duty. I have been told stories about how spouses of active military have degraded wives of the retired, telling them they shouldn't be allowed to attend base functions because their husbands aren't active duty. I've been told how some of you snotty bitches have refused to sell crap you have advertised at yardsale sites because their husbands were retired and not active duty.

First off – HOW DARE YOU! Some of you bitches really need to pull your head out of your asses and have a serious reality check. What in your puny little brains has given you the impression that you are above these people? What on God's green earth has giving you the impression that because your spouse is currently serving (and has maybe been in for only 5 years or less) you have more entitlement than someone who's spouse has served 20+ years. Twenty years that covered the expanse of Operation Desert Storm, Operation Iraqi Freedom, and the Iraq war. Twenty years that saw the 9/11 disaster (which many of you wives are too young to actually remember when it happened but instead learned of it in text books and 9/11 anniversary specials on TV each year) and the start of the war in Afghanistan as a result of 9/1l. You whine and bitch about your husbands doing a one year deployment in Korea where you get to Skype with your husbands every night while these women endured 18 month deployments where their husbands were lucky to get to call them for 10 minutes once a month and you feel you are entitled to treat these families like shit because your husband currently serves while theirs is retired?

Sad thing is, that's only covering the most recent twenty years. The Vietnam war ended less than 40 years ago and many of those veterans are the very same retired men and women who take advantage of their retirement benefits today. These are men (and some women) who were exposed to horrors that today's generation cannot even begin to imagine and to this day are still dealing with health repercussions from exposures to things like Agent Orange. Marines who were stationed on Camp Lejune from 1957 to 1987 are having health issues after being exposed to water contaminated with chemicals known to cause cancer. These veterans not only sat there and watched their brothers in arms die horrible deaths but then came back only to have the children they fathered after being exposed to Agent Orange be born with birth defects or die of various types of cancer. The Marines of Camp Lejune have had to watch their spouses die of cancer from drinking contaminated water and watch their children die the same deaths years later because they used that contaminated water in their baby's bottles. They have had to suffer knowing that their daughters miscarry baby after baby years later, knowing that their service has brought such heartache to their loved ones. Yet, you begrudge them a simple thing like attending a Christmas party on base? Sorry bitches but those wives ID card has a lot more meaning that yours does.

These men and women served proudly for two decades only to retire with only half the pay they were earning and to have to pay out the wazzoo for their health care benefits (or get sub par medical treatment at a VA facility). Many have to obtain jobs in the civilian workforce to make ends meet, many times working until they retire from that job and then collect two pensions. They endured their service before the invention of Skype and broadband internet, sometimes only communicating by written letters through the mail or the occasional email at a dial up tent in the middle of the desert once internet technology was available. Their wives checked the mail religiously for a letter to let them know that at least two weeks to two months prior, their husbands were okay. They waited by the home phone, since 20 years ago cell phone technology was pretty sparse and before that it was completely non existent, for that 5 to 10 minute phone call that was barely audible over the static and praying that the call didn't drop (as they so often did). You bitches sit there and complain about how bad you have it – you've got it easy compared to the spouses that were before you. Yet you want to degrade them, treat them like shit, and basically shit on their husband's service record. Bitch please! There comes a time where you just need to sit your happy asses down and just shut the fuck up and this is indeed one of those times.

I ask you this – those of you who think retired families are beneath you – how long has your spouse been in the service? Unless you're husband has been in for 17 years or more and is getting ready to put in his own retirement papers, you are not shit compared to these families. Their husbands put their time in, endured the blood, sweat and tears of 20 years of putting up with the Government's crap. Those wives stood beside their husbands through thick and thin when 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Think about that – 20 years later and she's still there. However, since the military has a higher divorce rate than that of US Civilians, it means that more than likely in 20 years you'll probably be on your 3^rd or 4^th marriage (since 75% of all second and third marriages end in divorce).

You never know when you might need this info

Lets put the shoe on the other foot. First, how would you feel if the community of retired military members who fought in the numerous wars over the course of the last oooh, 60 plus years, looked down upon your family because your husbands didn't fight in wars but instead sat in an air conditioned room with his feet firmly planted on safe US soil? What if they said your husband's service doesn't count because he has only served for 8 years? What if their opinion was that you didn't “earn” any benefits until your husband served a minimum of 17 years? You'd probably get your panties in a wad and throw an absolute shit fit. I mean, hell, many of you believe that you yourself are in the military just because your husband is so therefore you would take this as a personal insult towards you and your husband.

However, you feel it's perfectly acceptable to turn the tides and pull this shit on the retired community? Would you treat your parents with the same disrespect you show these people? (Actually, knowing some of you, you probably do.) Would you disrespect your husband's First Shirt in this manner when you are face to face with him? What about the Generals on this base? More than likely, you would show them a great amount of respect because of who they are and what their rank is. However, many of these MSgt's, SMSgt's, Col's, and Gen's are about to retire. Does signing those papers to collect a pension mean they lose all the respect they were given while serving? Sorry to inform you darling but you're SSgt or Butterbar husband do not hold a candle to these men and women. Get over yourself. Pull your head out of your asses and give these people the respect they deserve. Believe me, hunny, they have EARNED the respect that you should be showing them and do not deserve the disdain that you show them on a regular basis.

You are not above the retired community. If you think you are then I am sorry to tell you but you are a self centered, egotistical bitch. If your husband has given you the impression that those currently serving are above those who have retired then I believe I am safe saying your husband is an asshole. However, I seriously doubt your husband has the same mentality as you do. Your husbands understand how good today's military has it compared to the troops of yesteryear. Most of them are thankful for the invention of the MRE and would never want to pry open a C-ration that the veterans of Vietnam did. They are grateful for the M16 as opposed to the M1 Garand or the M14. They appreciate the F-16, the F-22, the F-35 over the F-14 and the F-105. They are grateful for the satellite technology that our military currently have and the warning systems that protect this country from attacks like that on Pearl Harbor. But most of all, many are grateful for the fact they were able to volunteer to serve this country rather than being forced into service by the draft as many veterans who served in Vietnam were.

The Beef Enchilada MRE doesn't look so bad against this

Some of you bitches should brush up on your history – rather than buying another Coach purse, you should go out and buy a book. Hell, go to the library and borrow one if you can't forgo your weekly manicure or fat wrap. Either way, educate yourselves on what our veterans and retired community underwent before you sit there with your self righteous attitudes and treat these valuable members of our military community like dog shit on your Gucci shoes. You even take their holiday away from them year after year – Veterans day rolls around and you post pictures of your husbands in their uniform and thank them for their service to this country, post about how proud you are of them for being in the military yet it never dawns on you that Veterans day is about those who served in the past and not the present. It's about the men and women who came before your spouse, who put their lives on the line to serve this country and protect the rights you are so quick to invoke. If it wasn't for those men and women who served in the past, our military would not be what it is now. Think about that before you sit there and treat them like crap.

So next time you're sitting in a long line with your kids to see Santa Claus and that retired family is in front of you, think about that. Instead of bitching because the line would be shorter without them there, maybe you should thank them for what they endured. And by all means, unless your husband is going to be a career military and put his 20 years in, please do not act like you are high and mighty over these people – You're not. They decided to give 20 years to their country, sacrificed any possibility of anything that resembled a normal life and marriage. If your husband is only in it for the educational benefits and a paycheck until he's able to support your dependabison ass in the civilian world then you have absolutely no right to dismiss that sacrifice. And even if your husband is a career, get off your high horse and show some respect. Because one day, you might be in the same exact situation with some 19 year old bitch who can't even order an alcoholic beverage yet treating you like she's better than you.

Until Next Time...

Yappity Yap - Just Shut Your Trap

It's been a bit since I have written. I apologize for those going through withdrawals, it has been a very busy two weeks for me. But today I have a day to myself and I decided to use some of it to post.

For those who do not know already, there's now a facebook page for this blog. I wanted a way to be able to start open communication with my readers and allow you to give me input, suggestions and criticisms as you want. I know that many people have already joined which blows my mind considering I hadn't even advertised it before now. Word definitely gets around on this base, that's for sure. You can find the facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Welcome-To-Edwards-Leave-your-Brain-at-the-Gate/408170469298583?fref=ts .

Now on to the good stuff.

I've been debating several different topics of discussion for today's blog. I considered the topic of the Commissary and some of the thing craziness that occurs there, especially on payday. I debated the topic of the BX and how crappy their selection truly is. A couple of people suggested discussing the situation with the squirrels. Finally, I considered writing about bullying on base, especially after the little bit of drama that occurred even here on this blog in the comment section. A few people thought that the bullying topic would be a great idea. I agree.

I might be a bit naive in some of my thinking but generally when I think of the term spouse, I think of an adult individual who has married another adult individual. Maybe I'm wrong and there's a large percentage of 12 and 13 year old spouses running around base because I must say, when it comes to interactions between individuals, people act as if they are in the 6^th grade.

Nobody is ever going to get along with everyone, that’s just human nature. We're always going to say or do something that someone doesn't like. I know there are plenty of individuals who disagree with this blog, I've even gotten some pretty harsh emails in regards to exactly what people think of me and my opinion. Does this give us any right to treat people the way we sometimes do? People are so very quick to defend a helpless animal that they feel is being mistreated but will turn around and treat another human in ways that make me cringe.

We judge people for any little thing – a woman you have never met but who works in your husband's shop is obviously a slut who has slept with the entire flight just because she's female; another spouse is automatically a whore if you believe she's prettier or skinnier than you; or she's obviously a tag chaser who trapped a man by getting pregnant if she's overweight.

Women automatically jump to conclusions regarding people based solely on physical image rather than that persons merits. We refuse to make friendly with people who don't fit what we feel is ideal – to some the overweight spouse is automatically ostracized because she's obviously sloppy or lazy while on the other hand others ostracize the super skinny spouse because she must be anorexic, a drug addict or is out to sleep with your husband. We judge based on what rank the spouse's military member is – if their husband is too high ranking, they are obviously a snotty bitch who thinks their shit doesn't stink or if their husband's rank is too low then they are beneath us associating with because we have “earned” the right to be friends with only wives who's husband's rank is equivalent to our own spouses. We judge if a wife works outside the home, we judge if she is a stay at home mom. We judge if she bottle feeds her infant and we judge if she breast feeds. If a woman gets pregnant, we begin speculating if its really her husbands child without any proof that she was cheating in the first place.

One can't even have an opinion these days without being labeled or criticized. We already discussed what happens if you don't like “50 Shades of Grey” for example. But do you think George Zimmerman is innocent of the murder of Travon Martin? You must be a racist against blacks. Think he's guilty? You must be racist against Hispanics. Think Paula Deen got screwed? Again, you must be a racist or your a backwoods redneck southerner without the brains to know any better. Think she's getting what she deserved? You don't understand freedom of speech and give to much power to the word, making you part of the problem. Don't believe in same sex marriages? You're either a bible thumper or a homophob, or both. Support the gay rights movement? You must be a fag, a lesbian or bisexual making you a freak. Like the President? You must have drank the Kool-aide and you're the reason this country sucks right now. Don't like the President? Well, yeah, you guessed it, you're a racist. No matter what your opinion, someone is going to have the audacity to tell you how wrong you are and criticize your opinion. It's gotten to the point where one cannot think for themselves much less express their opinion about something – maybe we should just elect the know it all bitches so they can tell us what to think or feel. Maybe they can even tell me when I feel like taking a crap? (But then they would probably criticize my diet because my turds weren't solid enough, or too solid, or who effing knows).

Even what we eat gets criticized. If an overweight woman is seen eating a hambuger at Burger King, instantly that's the reason she's so fat. If you're skinny and eating a salad at the same establishment, you've got an eating disorder. Own a coach purse? Obviously you just spent all of your husbands paycheck on it and forgot to pay the bills. Nobody can win, no matter what one does, there's always some bitch who has absolutely too much time on their hands, is in everyone's business and who's got to run their mouth.

It seems like the only thing to do on this base is to either sell crap or judge people – those seem to be the top two pastimes here in the desert. Now we all judge, it's human nature. We all develop preconceived notions about things we see or hear. The problem is that most of the time, you fail to keep these opinions to yourselves and feel that your opinion is important enough to spout off on facebook groups, to your friends and to anyone who will listen. You slander people without any reason beyond that you dislike that individual for whatever reason and you feel everyone else should dislike that person as well. As if YOUR opinion is the end all and if you feel that way about someone, everyone else should as well because obviously your opinion is the only correct one to have. You, my friend, are an absolute bitch.

I cannot tell you the number of times someone has told me something vicious and negative regarding people on this base. I've heard rumors about many of the people who read this blog and have sat there as I listened to individuals rip someone for absolutely no reason. I've had things repeated to me by friends that “others” have said about not only myself but people who I know well enough to know that these rumors are absolutely false. It always amazes me to hear people talk crap about someone they have never even met in the first damn place. I mean, come on, if you're going to judge someone at least have the decency to judge that person from your own experiences with them. Don't be a damn sheep and let those opinions of someone else that were repeated to you influence how you treat someone. 

I've seen people gang up on individuals on facebook groups because people didn't agree with them or didn't like the way their posts came off. I always find this pretty funny to observe – to judge someone based on words typed out on a screen. It's so easy to misinterpret what someone says in text – a person might not have the right words to really get across what they mean or you cannot hear the manner in which they wrote it. And I've seen time and time again where if people are discussing an individual without mentioning names, everyone wants to know who's being discussed so they can join in on the fun.

Hell, Jane Doe has been a topic of judgment for many. Truth is, I have yet had a single person come out and ask me if I was Jane Doe which tells me I'm flying under the radar pretty well. Yet in conversation, I have had people I know say they have been accused of being Jane Doe. People are racking their tiny little brains (which if you remember have been left at the gate in the first place) to figure out who I am and have pointed fingers and gotten pretty ugly about individuals when they think they have figured it out. Nothing points this out better when a reader of this blog was called out in a very ugly way in the comments of this very blog. While I do not know the entire story behind that particular attack, what was relayed to me was that a group of individuals who had nothing to do with this base decided to take it upon themselves to call out the reader as being me and bombarded this blog with several long, debasing comments about the person. While the attack was vicious, I do believe it points out something very telling about people who bully others – their mentality is pretty childish. Need proof? Two words - “Eat Dick”. (Those who were reading that exchange will know what that's about.)

Bullies seem to be stuck in a mentality of perpetual high school. Actually, I take that back, I know high school kids who act more mature so let's say middle school instead. There's always that bully in middle school, the boy who shoves the geeky kids head in the locker or the girl who rips on the other girl who's outfit came from a discount store. These kids never grow up, never mature and never learn how to respect others and then continue the cycle with their own children. Whether its because mommy and daddy spoiled them rotten and convinced them they are above all others or maybe because they are insecure about themselves and must destroy others to make themselves look better, I do not know. Beyond the one psychology class I was required to take for my degree, I didn't study why assholes act like assholes. Unfortunately, we give these people way too much attention. There's a reason why shows like Jersey Shore, Buckwild, Bridezillas, Housewives of whatever and the likes get high ratings on television. We enjoy watching self adsorbed people make complete asses out of themselves. We wait for these types of people to self destruct for our entertainment. The same holds true for the same type of drama on Facebook pages or out and about on base. When a post goes nuts and people go apeshit, people lurk just to see what will happen and then discuss it among each other in private.

Trust me, this base has no deficit in the self adsorbed types. You know who they are – the ones who post to add absolutely nothing of any substance to a conversation other than to see themselves post. An example of this would be when someone asks if anyone has done something in order to gain advice or insight and some ass posts “no”. They're the one who throw the “breast is best” argument out when someone asks about a specific brand of formula and then proceeds to tell them what a terrible parent they must be not to love their kids enough to pop a tit in their mouth. They're the ones who throw their husbands rank around as if it gives them any special bonus to negate your own opinion. They're the ones who are quick to tell you how wrong you are and why and how their reasoning is superior to your own. And they are the ones who message you in private when some sort of drama occurs that doesn't involve them but they feel the need to gossip about it anyway.

It's also the bitches who every time someone pisses them off, instantly uses the “I'll contact your husbands First Shirt”. This is something I will never understand. There is no other job out there where if a woman upsets or offends you, you run to their husbands place of employment to tattle on them. Let's put it like this. Let's say Suzie's husband Josh works at McDonald's (hey, everyone has to start somewhere). Suzi pisses Joanie off so Joanie loads up in her car, drives to McDonald's and tells Josh's manager that Suzie pissed her off. Can you see how absolutely ignorant and childish that scenario is? So why do wives think just because our husbands put on a uniform every day, it changes things?

Somewhere in the scheme of things, we've forgotten what respect is. The golden rule of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” has fallen to the wayside and instead has been replaced with “Bash that bitch first before the bitch is able to do it to you”. Wives are notorious for saying things like being a military wife “is the hardest job in the military” - while I won't agree with this statement I will say that you are the reason it's so hard. Rather than making friends with other spouses, you rip each other apart. Rather than making a large circle of friends throughout the entire base community, you pick and choose who's “worthy” of your friendship (most of the time based on who will be most likely to buy your shit) and alienate the rest. Then, when your close “friends” PCS out and your husband is off to Korea, you realize you have absolutely nobody. Day in and day out you're stuck in your house, maybe taking care of a kid or two, miserable and bitching because nobody wants anything to do with you.

As a military community, we should all pull together and support each other. After all, we're all in the same boat. We leave our lifelong friends and extended family behind to move cross country or across oceans because the military dictates where our home will be. We make friends at one place, only to either have them pick up and move or for our spouses to receive orders and have to do it all again. We laugh at movies from the 1950's where when a new family moves in, the rest of the neighborhood rings the doorbell, introduces themselves and gives a housewarming gift but maybe that's what we should be doing? Instead, we alienate people because we don't like the way they look when we see them moving in without giving anyone a chance. Maybe if we didn't do this, there wouldn't be so many posts on FB asking for some stranger to babysit on a Saturday night because you would have a whole community of friends willing to switch off sitting duties?

I personally would rather have several fat, skinny, ugly, pretty, geeky, moms with too many children, moms with not enough children or even no children, or disheveled haired friends whom I could associate and trust then only have one or two “perfect” friends. I'd rather be friends with the outcasts then those who never outgrew the bully phase of middle school. After all, its the geeks who had their heads shoved in the locker who grow up to become the CEO of Fortune 500 companies or the Neville Longbottoms of the world– the bullies usually end up even more mean and bitter because their lives never amounted to much of anything.

Until next time...