Things That Make You Go Boom

It's another sunny, albeit windy as always, day at Edwards AFB.  I'm inclined to write today because we have breaking news on base. Sonic Booms occur on Edwards AFB. I repeat - Sonic Booms occur on Edwards AFB.

Nobody cares that the Sonic Boom scared your dog or woke your baby or made you shit your pants. Because what you are hearing is the sound of the most elite modern aircraft preparing themselves for the day that they might actually have to fly into combat and protect this country. 

Here's the deal people.  We live on an Air Fore Base.  The Air Force is pretty synonymous with aircraft that can flight fast enough to break the sound barrier.  Believe it or not, the Navy does too. Gone are the days of dog fighting with the P-40.  When Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier in 1947, the first Sonic Boom was heard over Edwards AFB and the US military hasn't looked back since. Nor should they.   Billions of tax dollars go into developing the most sophisticated, elite fighting force the world has seen, with air craft that can fly higher and faster then our enemies who would do us harm.  Strike First, Strike Hard and get our Men and Women home safely.

Imagine the bitching if this had happened today

Welcome to the military, Sweetcheeks! Nobody on this base is concerned with your comforts, except maybe your fellow wives who are just as special as you are.  Nobody cares if you want a quiet environment for your baby to sleep in or that your dog gets the dry heaves and shakes like a crack addicted hula dancer's hips when he hears loud noises.  I would dare you to knock on the Brig. General's door to tell him that the loud planes overhead disturbed the peaceful refuge you tried to achieve and you would like to request quiet hours while your precious lil' cherub tries to nap. Be sure to come back to Facebook and let us all know how that goes.

I'm sure after he finishes clutching his sides from the stitch he gets from laughing at you, that he will then tell you that this base is a test facility, long before you ever got here. He will probably tell you that the base is about conducting and supporting research and development of flight and that infant sleep study does not fall into the realm of that research.

Those booms that you hear are the United States Military (and NASA too) doing all that they can to make tomorrow a safer place for all, even your screaming baby. 

Clueless at Edwards

I've been sitting while buying my time. What to write about for that first Edwards targeted post?  I knew it would have to be good.  Writing about your dogs just wouldn't cut it. Then, I hit Facebook Gold with this little gem courteous of the Edwards Friends page.

Now, this little lady eventually claims to have been a military wife for 17 years. I want to know where the hell this chick's been stationed. Has she spent her entire 17 years as a spouse at Aviano? Because as much as I hate this base, I have to say that the houses here are much better than most of the other bases I have been at.  Hell, my first time around here at Edwards, before the "new" houses were built, the houses were almost as old as the damn base itself and it wouldn't have been a huge stretch of the imagination to believe Chuck Yeager or Neil Armstrong possibly screwed their wives in the same room that I was getting busy in.  You think these houses are dilapidated? Shit!  In the words of our current CinC, I've seen some real shitholes. As much as Edwards AFB itself would qualify as a shithole, the housing is far superior to other bases.  The Commissary is dilapidated.  Housing is not.  If you didn't like the housing, why bother living on the base in what you make sounds like a 3rd world mud hut. 

But that's neither here nor there, because the point of the post was not to bitch about the house itself

but to complain about ants, mice and a spider.   1 spider and this bitch is flipping her shit.  And she asks, how is she suppose to keep her kids from getting bit by said spider and ants in this desert.

NEWS FLASH: THE SAME WAY YOU KEEP THEM FROM BITING YOUR KIDS IN OTHER DAMN PLACES.

Where have you been living for the last 17 years that your kids have never been exposed to ants or spiders or that does not have mice that occasionally take up residence?  Shit, ever been in housing in the South? We're talking cockroaches that walk into your kitchen and pour themselves a cup of coffee and you're going to bitch about 1 spider? 

As dilapidated as the Commissary is, they sell this stuff made by a company called Raid. You may have heard of them. They create a line of sprays and baits to help keep the creepy crawlies at bay.  It works pretty well.  If your broke or don't feel you should have to spend your own money, you can pick up an equally effective spray from the housing office.  It's really a simple solution to a really basic problem.

But here's another news flash for you:  this base was established a LONG time before you got here and people here have dealt with ants and black widows ever since.  You are not the first. What the fuck are you going to do the first time you find a sun spider chasing your ass?  Don't tell me - you'll book a plane to wherever the fuck it is you came from that didn't have such dangerous creatures?  Can we say serious First World problem?

 I don't care where you get stationed.  With the exception of Antarctica, any place you get stationed will have ants, spiders and rodents.  These are not critters that are restricted only to this base.  Spray the ants, kill or relocate the spiders and get a damn cat for the mice.  But by all fucking means, stop acting like you are the only person in the world in the history of Edwards AFB that has been put out by these things.  Because some of us have dealt with them for a few years.  And a few of us (ME!) are dealing with them once again!